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“Do I even want to ask how many people were Team Noughton?”
She lowers her menu all the way to say something, but the server interrupts to take our order.
“Do you mind?” I ask Gillian, and she shakes her head. I look at the server, a boy who reminds me a lot of me when I was young. “An extra-large cheeseburger pizza with extra cheese and two salads. Italian on one and ranch?” My eyes go to Gillian, and she nods. “Ranch on the other.”
“You got it, Coach Noughton.” He walks away, and I watch him as he goes.
“Is he a football player?” I thumb in the kid’s direction.
Gillian laughs. “No, but Coach Marks was Coach Marks to a lot of kids who never played. Welcome to your new role in Willowbrook, Coach Noughton.”
It’s weird, but it warms my chest at the same time. Maybe because I always respected Coach Marks so much.
“You must be starving,” she says.
“Yes, and this could be the last time I ever eat cheeseburger pizza.”
She shakes her head, but there’s amusement in her expression. “Why would that be?” She knows why, but I kind of like her playing clueless—it gives me a chance to woo her.
“Same reason I haven’t been here since I got back to town. It’s not the same unless I eat it with you.”
“Good line, Noughton.”
“I’m serious. I never got over you.”
She rolls her eyes. I hope one day I can convince her how much of my heart she kept when I stepped on that plane to Clemson.
“What’s your game plan here?” She tilts her head, studying me.
“What do you want it to be?”
She shakes her head, thanking the server for bringing us some water. She taps the end of the straw on the table to free it from the wrapper. “You’re not throwing it back to me. I’m serious. We’re going to be working on a few things together now. Are we supposed to be friends?”
I do the same with my straw and blow my wrapper at her. She swats it away and laughs. I missed that sound more than I ever admitted to myself.
“I thought I could, but I’ve realized I can never just be your friend. I mean, if I had to. If you were with someone, maybe I’d force—yeah, no. I can’t be your friend, Gillian.” I meet her blue gaze, hoping she’ll see the truth of my words.
She props her elbows on the table and leans forward. “You’re not even staying in town.”
“I’m here for the season. It’s going to take time for Coach Marks to get better, so I’m not going anywhere for a while.”
She leans back in her chair, fiddling with her fingers. “Well, I’m taking the bar exam next week and should have the results in six or seven weeks. Assuming I pass, I’ll be interviewing after that and am not sure where I’ll end up.”
My stomach sours at the thought of her leaving, which is stupid because I don’t even know where the hell I’ll end up. I try not to let it show. “It’s impressive what you were able to accomplish with Clayton.”
“Well, thanks, but you’re changing the subject. I haven’t forgotten my original question. What do you want?”
“I’m not sure I understand the question. We’re here to discuss fundraising, right?”
She studies me for a beat. “I’m not into games, Noughton.”
I look around and lean over the table, lowering my voice. “You want the truth? Here it is. I never fell out of love with you. I was an asshole to leave things how they were between us. I can’t sit across from you and tell you that I want to have a coach-slash-booster mom relationship with you. Nor do I want a friendship. I want you in my bed, Gillian. I want to kiss you when I want. I want to hold your hand when we walk into a room. I want everyone to know that you’re mine. But I know we don’t know where our futures are going, and they might go in different directions again. So I’m not sure how to solve this problem. Which means that even though I know what I want, I’m not sure I can have it.”
She blows out a breath and stares around the room that’s growing less crowded by the minute. Her eyes well with tears.
My stomach plummets to my feet. “Fuck, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
She shoos me with her hand, sucking back the tears before they fall. “I waited so long to hear those words. I always thought you just forgot me.”
