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Condensing all of that, she basically said I ain’t shit. Won’t ever be shit.
Yeah, I think that’s the brunt of it.
“I know right now my actions mean more than my words but I am sincerely sorry. There’s no excuse for the way I treated you, especially when you are someone I enjoyed calling my friend.”
“That’s the part that hurt the most.” Biscuit crumbs all around her lips, tears fell from her eyes. “You were my friend, Ezekiel. A true friend that I genuinely loved and cared about. When you told me that you wanted me to keep this baby because you wanted your mom to see you as a father before she passed, I happily wanted to go on this journey with you because you were already a great honorable man and I knew you were going to be an excellent father. How could you treat me like this?” Unable to hold it in anymore, she sobs in her hands at the table.
Uncaring of the nosey lurkers, I moved around to her side of the booth and hugged her. Her sobs weren’t loud, but loud enough that it awakened my conviction. Our server came and boxed up our food. She finally calmed down, and her cries were hiccuped sniffles.
“While I don’t deserve it, I pray one day you find it in your heart to forgive me. I’m so sorry for the pain I’ve inflicted on you and our child because if you’re hurting so is our baby.” Chancing it, I placed my hands on her belly and sure enough, those little kicks were knocking. “Either they’re angry at me for the hurt I caused you or they’re happy to hear my voice.”
She finally smiled. “Let’s hope it’s the latter.”
“Hi, guys. I have a little surprise for you.” Our server had returned with an all-white heart-shaped cake. “Congratulations on your bundle of joy.” He handed us two flutes, leaving us confused by the second.
“Do you know what this is about?” Why give us flutes with no champagne?
Gasping, Crystal started giggling reaching for her phone. “You better marry Sunnie. I so forgot that I told her I wanted a simple gender reveal with a cake.” She propped up her phone and I sat there stunned that Sunnie would do this for us, for me. “We’re supposed to cut the cake with the mouth of our flutes and when you scoop it up, you’ll see the color of the gender inside. Are you ready?”
All I could do was nod.
Our baby was stubborn like me, not a good thing at all. We were in month six finally finding out the sex from a DNA sample because the baby refused to uncross its legs or position itself for the doctor to see.
“Okay, you cut one side and I’ll do the other.” I owed our server a big tip. Crystal’s cloud of despair had passed and sunshine radiated off her. She was smiling and happy. “On the count of four. One… two…three… four…”
“It’s a boy!” I shouted, making the entire restaurant celebrate with us.
“Damn, another you. God ain’t even right.” She was smiling but I don’t think she found humor in knowing she was carrying a male version of me.
A son.
I was having my junior.
My smile decreased. My excitement simmered. Reality hit me square in the chest and hard.
Why a son?
Why not a little girl that I could spoil rotten and teach how to avoid lame ass dudes?
Who am I to teach him how to be a man? My da…
“Hey, snap out of it, Ezekiel.” Crystal’s firm grip on my hand became my focal point. “Don’t get in your head. Don’t take on someone else’s mistakes. Your son is your son. He’s your son. Be the father you wish you had. You have a perfectly good example of what not to do, so make a vow to yourself that you will do what you’re supposed to do. I can’t raise a man, Ezekiel. He’s going to need his father; he’s going to need you.”
Three Months Later…
Today felt bittersweet. It was my mother’s birthday and also our paternity photoshoot. Crystal and I were in a better space. Took some time, but God was slowly softening her heart towards me. She required actions over words. Not a hard adjustment but it called me to stand on my word as a man. She challenged my integrity and honor as the mother of my child. Refused for my lack of accountability to interfere with how our son needed to be raised.
She kept me on my toes.
Sunnie kept me centered.
“Okay now, Crystal. Lean your body his way. Wrap your arm around his and rest your head on his shoulder. Cross your right ankle over your left. Dad, face forward. Okay. Yes. Just like that.” Cedric Jones was hand selected by Crystal and Sunnie to spearhead our photoshoot.
Crystal wanted a maternity shoot that went along with her theme of blue and white, but also our friendship. Tasteful poses and looks. When it came to her poses of being topless, those were either solo or a piece of fabric covering her breast.
She asked Sunnie to style her nails. Her hair had been picked out in a large curly fro, giving her a goddess aura with a matching gold vine crown. I didn’t think she’d want me in her pictures. It was no secret that I wasn’t her favorite person.
“Okay, now turn towards each other and Ezekiel, place your hands on her stomach and Crystal, put your hands over his. Tell her something funny so I can catch that beautiful smile.”
