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“Thanks, man.”
We talked for another hour before Leann and the kids came down. He filled me in on dad. How he’s been staying with his family in Georgia and put the house on the market. I had no intentions of buying it, nor did Jeremiah. Leann had already gone over to get the things of mom’s that we wanted. I tried calling him once and learned he had me blocked. Jeremiah spoke to him a few times, but that’s as far as their relationship went.
Long ago I accepted that when mom passed away, I’d be mourning two parents.
* * *
After leaving my brother’s house, I stopped by Whole Foods and spent way too much money on the extensive list of groceries Jeremiah told me to pick up. Double of everything because I wanted Sunnie to do the detox with me. Make it our spiritual sabbatical.
“These are the new neon gel nail strips for my hot girl hotties wanting to add some razzle dazzle for the summer. They come in all colors but done so in neon. See how the yellow is popping against all this melanin.” Doing what she does best, Sunnie was sitting at the island recording a video demonstrating her up-and-coming launch.
It’s been weeks since I first washed her hair and put it in two braids. Now, she refused to wear any other style. Every Sunday evening, I washed and conditioned her hair and gave her the same two braids.
It became a part of our routine.
A good amount of silence passed, making me think she was finished, so I told her the reason for all the groceries. “Sunnie Mae, I think my dick is broken.”
Gasping, she damn near broke her laptop, trying to slam it shut. “Ezekiel, what the hell?” Her high-pitched squeal and wide eyes had me laughing hard as shit. “I can’t believe you said that while I was on live, and it’s not that damn funny.” Oh, but it was that damn funny. “Shut up!” She threw a pack of her nail strips at me.”
I haven’t laughed this good in a long time. It definitely felt good to my soul.
“I’m sorry.” I took advantage of all the skin she was showing wearing a tank top with no bra. Kissed all over her neck and face, still no hard on. Turning her chair towards me, I sat down and stared at Sunnie.
The most beautiful canvas God created.
“What do you mean, your dick is broken? Did you slam it in the door? Caught it in your zipper?” Doe eyes and full lips, her eyes zeroed in on the crotch of my sweats as if she should see what the cause was.
“None of that. I have erectile dysfunction. Can’t tell you the last time I had a natural hard on. It’s been some years. Either I’m on pills or my liquor is laced.” My thumb caressed the crease out of her forehead. “I got a junkie dick and now the shit won’t work on its own, so Jeremiah told me to detox for a month.” I wanted to make light of a serious situation, but that didn’t stop Sunnie’s doe eyes from pooling with worry.
“Do you miss it? Miss not being on set?” She held her breath, waiting to see if my words were going to break her heart.
“I miss the rush and excitement of the business but not the sex.” She tried to hide her sigh of relief by fake sneezing. “I built an empire and dismantling that empire is going to take a lot. It might be easier to sell, I don’t know, but my Damien days are over.” Because of you and my mom.
Being extra, she started feeling my head with the back of her hand. Stretching my eyes and checking my pulse. “Wow. I’m… I’m happy. Mr. Deep Stroke has retired ladies and gentlemen.” She smirked, tugging my beard.
Taking her hands in mine, I kissed each finger. From her manicured nails to her tatted wrist. Praised her soft hands that have been the anchors to help me to stand. Her lashes swept across her cheek with each flutter. Lips parting, giving those gasping breaths an escape. She was transfixed on my lips and I was transfixed on the vein in her neck, thumping. The vixen set ablaze everything in my body. Everything but my damn dick.
Leaning over until her lips brushed across mine, she whispers, “Why are you staring at me like that? What’s on your mind?” Back and forth, her lips became the balm mine so desperately needed.
“Sunnie Mae, your beauty touches my soul. I often find myself wondering what I could have possibly done to deserve someone as extraordinary as you. Yet, I am grateful that fate intertwined our paths.” Gently lifting her hand, I pressed a tender kiss to her knuckles, drawing her ever so close until our foreheads met in union. “You didn’t just enter my life; you became its saving grace. That night, had your voice not reached through the darkness, calming the pain within me, it scares me to think where I might be right now. Your call was a beacon, guiding me back to a life worth living, right here beside you.”
As she leaned in, her nose gently nudging against mine in a playful yet intimate gesture, she sealed our connection with a kiss. It was soft, tender, yet it ignited a fire within me, a primal urge to protect and cherish. My stomach tightened, not in nervous anticipation, but in a deep, resonant response to her touch. “Ezekiel.” her voice was steady, imbued with a conviction that resonated to my core. A soothing balm, laden with unwavering faith. “The chapters of your life are far from complete. God’s plans for you stretch beyond the horizon, vast and unfathomable. I am but a humble conduit, a bearer of His will. Remember, it’s the continuation of your story that holds divine significance, nothing less. Our paths are guided by a force far greater than us. I’m here, by your side, but it’s your journey that’s being carved by His hand. You’re destined for greatness, far beyond what we see. I’m merely a companion, a witness to the strength and chapters yet to unfold in your story.”
Dear God, I want to marry this woman.
I hadn’t been concerned with my inability to perform sexually because our time together required so much more than physical intimacy could ever nurture the wounded wounds inside of me. Women of my past would have opened their legs, thinking that’s the remedy for my weariness. The physical aspect of relationships never ranked high on my list, not out of disinterest, but because mere physicality couldn’t satisfy the depth of connection I sought. Women from my past mistook their willingness to spread their legs as the cure-all for my battles, thinking temporary pleasures could somehow bandage deeper wounds. A temporary bandage. Sure, the thrill of the flesh has its moments, but it’s fleeting. Sunnie, though, she pierced deeper, offering intimacy that transformed me, reaching into the very core of my being, making me feel understood and supported in ways I never thought possible.
She committed to me without any formal oaths, her loyalty and faith a testament far more powerful than any vow spoken before a priest. Her submission wasn’t just in form, but in spirit, aligning herself with a higher purpose that also honored our bond. Facing my own vulnerabilities head-on, I laid bare my struggles with erectile dysfunction, expecting it to shake our foundation. Yet, she stood unwavering.
Financial turmoil loomed as I contemplated the future of my company, a test of our resolve ‘for richer or for poorer.’ Through every trial, including personal conflicts and facing the reality that she won’t be the mother of my first child, her strength and dedication never wavered. Her love wasn’t just in words but in actions—praying fervently for me in an airport as I battled my darkest thoughts, setting aside her own pain to support my grieving heart. That’s the kind of love that doesn’t just last but changes you, molds you into something better.
Sunnie’s unwavering presence, her ability to love me through every storm, every challenge, reaffirmed my belief in us, reaffirmed my belief in God. In a world where I’ve always had to be the strongest, the toughest, she showed me the power of a different kind of strength—emotional resilience, and unconditional support.
She’s my person, the one whom my soul loves.
“Something else matters too.”
“What’s that?”
