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I closed my eyes, listening to the comforting sound of the water trickling into the fountain.
“What are you doing?” Aiden asked.
I startled, my eyes flying open.
Aiden stood a few feet away with his palms up. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
I forced myself to relax. “It’s okay. I just came here to think.”
“You spent the day with your family?” Aiden asked as he sat next to me, his knees spread wide.
I nodded. “My dad, Jameson, Daphne, and Izzy. It’s nice to have time with them. I haven’t seen Teddy or Weston yet. I’m sure they’re busy with work.”
Aiden shifted, the length of his thigh resting against mine. “When I came home, my grandmother had died and my parents were already gone.”
“Does it take some time to get used to the changes?” I asked, trying to ignore the heat I felt through his jeans.
Aiden gave me a look. “I kept expecting my parents to show up.”
I covered his hand with mine. “I know how much you hated them.”
His jaw tightened. “I wouldn’t let them affect me like they used to. I’m a different person.”
My heart ached for him. He’d always acted like he was strong, like his mother’s words hadn’t gotten to him. But on some level, they had, or he wouldn’t have felt the need to prove himself in the military. “I feel like everyone has changed, and I have no idea who anyone is.”
“I guess that’s to be expected. You were gone a long time.” Aiden’s voice rumbled through my chest.
“I feel guilty for not being here when Mom died. I missed everything that came after. I wasn’t there for them, and my siblings grew into people I don’t know much about. I didn’t stick around like Teddy did.” The guilt clawed at my throat.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. You did what you had to do.”
“I saved myself.” I lifted my feet to the bench and wrapped my arms around my bent knees, dropping my forehead onto my arms.
Aiden shifted on the bench, his hand coming to rest on my shin. His touch was comforting and grounding. “I don’t know what to say to make you feel better.”
Tears stung the back of my eyes. “I just have to feel it, I guess. Maybe have a conversation with the siblings I left behind. Apologize for being selfish. For thinking that I could bury myself in classes and work so that I didn’t feel the loss.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Aiden said again. “You coped the only way you knew how.”
“But Teddy changed schools to be closer to home. He was there, and I wasn’t.”
“What did Teddy give up to be there for his family? Did he give up on his dreams? Did he shove them down deep so that he never saw them again? Or was it something he wanted to do? We can’t speculate.”
Lifting my head, I blinked my eyes, wondering if he was right. Our actions had consequences, and I didn’t know what Teddy was going through. “While I’m here, I want to get to know them.”
“When I enlisted, I told my best friend, Heath, to look after Marley, and he ended up falling in love with her. He broke things off when they were younger and only just now reconnected.”
“Marley turned out just fine. She went to college, runs a successful business.”
“You’re right. She can support herself. She doesn’t need me. That’s a tough pill to swallow sometimes. It makes me feel—”
“Useless?” That’s how I felt since I was home. That I wasn’t doing anything right, work or relationships.
Aiden sighed. “Something like that.”
I knew some men liked to be needed. Maybe it was hard for him to know that his little sister didn’t need him in the same way she did when they were growing up.
I set my feet on the ground. “We’re both a mess from our childhoods.” Although mine had been nice. It was just Mom’s illness and death that had thrown me for a loop.
