AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She pouted, reaching out from under the blanket for a hug, begging me to drop back down to my knees and embrace her. I stared at her face as she crashed into me in case anything uncovered itself during the movement. Her chin hooked over my shoulder, and I wrapped my arms around her back, realizing the blanket had fallen to just above her hips. She was, indeed, very naked. My hands remained in the air, awkwardly bending up at the wrists as I held her.
Shit.
“It’s really hard to be around you.” Her sentence was punctuated with a sniffle on my shoulder. “It’s always been the easiest thing and now it’s so hard.”
“I know, Kai,” I whispered. I hated myself for suddenly getting distracted by the curve of her bare back. I had to be here for her. I had get my mind out of the fucking gutter. Here she was, sobbing because she simply missed me, and all I could think about was dragging a finger down the line of her spine.
And that was exactly what she was crying about. I couldn’t even get near the girl. I couldn’t even be a good friend to her, nor she to me. For the first time since I crossed that damn line, I realized the whole thing was tormenting her just as much as it was me.
I pressed my hands into her back and gave her a full, tight hug. The kind my best friend deserved. My hands slid across her skin as my arms pressed around her, but she twitched and rolled into me, sucking in a gasp. Fuck. I’d accidentally brushed the spot she likes on the side of her ribs. My body went stiff, and I appreciated the fact that she didn’t begin to toy with me. Instead, I could feel her thinking through ways to exit our embrace without showing herself. I reached one hand down to grab the blanket that was draped on her lower back and dragged it up carefully, looking away as I covered her with it. She sat there, covered chin down by the blanket, staring at me with those wet eyes.
???
Kai
See me. See me. See me. For the love of god, see me.
This was so much more than a crush, than a game, and I was so done denying it. For the first time in my life, I couldn’t stand to hear him call me his friend.
“I love you, Kai…” Yes. “No matter what, okay? I know it’s weird now. But it’ll blow over. I promise.” No, fuck.
My heart turned into a slippery blob and slid right out of my rib cage. It landed somewhere in my stomach. A heavy reminder that I was fucked.
How could I live without Jonah? How could I live with him? What would I do if he ever started dating? Would I have to sit and watch?
My nose crashed into my blanket-covered fists as I began to sob. I couldn’t stomach any of those thoughts. Our friendship was over.
Jonah leaned in, taking hold of my shoulders over the fabric. He craned his neck down to look me in the eye and lifted one thumb to my cheek. As he touched my face gently, I saw it in his eyes, too. Heartbreak. We were done for.
“I’m probably going to keep being a bitch for a while.” I sniffled. “If that’s okay with you.”
His laugh came through, though it got stuck somewhere in his throat, as if it had to push through tears to make it out of his body. “Sweet Kai, Minxy Kai, Dramatic Kai, Snarky Bitch Kai. My favorite team,” he said with a smile. “Though it’s not really a team, is it? It’s more of an army. Can you imagine it?” He was trying to make me laugh. To take my mind off things. Just another reason I knew he was the one for me. “All those different Kais, all those versions, all those emotions, up against one, grumpy, gray, Jonah.”
I humored him. “When I picture it, we’re cartoons, and you have a single sword strapped to your back. But every Kai is equipped with a different weapon, each more nonsensical than the last.”
“That sounds about right. I’m most afraid of the one holding the coffee machine above her head.”
My eyes fell to the side as I surrendered a single chuckle. He was staring at me in such a beautifully overwhelming way, his fingers on the side of my head, his green eyes imagining things with me. I wanted to kiss him so badly I almost started crying again. I would have kissed him if we weren’t friends, as he had so eloquently put it last night.
Chapter 35
Kai, That Afternoon
I left the studio early today, unsure of whether I needed to be closer to or farther away from Jonah. He didn’t demand we go get a coffee like he had the past two days, but this one was voluntary. The band was hardly doing anything anyway. The work was done.
I spent extra time getting ready, an hour poking around the store for alcohol we didn’t need, and even more time taking public transportation instead of calling a car, just because I’m a little sadistic. When I arrived at Briggs’ house, he, Thalia, and Aaron were already there setting up. The grassy yard was surprisingly spacious with a wooden fence around three sides and the house at the fourth. Two long tables sat off to the left, and there were scattered chairs and fallen balloons around the rest of it.
Aaron made various stacks of red cups on one of the snack tables. I helped by inspecting them closely, moving around bunches of one, two, three cups to make sure each stack was exactly even.
“One more on the back corner,” Aaron said, staring at the towers with as much intensity as I was.
I did as he said. “Ah. No. Doesn’t feel right.” I lifted the cup off the stack and placed it back down in its spot. Still not right. I moved the cup in my hand to another stack, stealing the top cup of that stack to put on the stack in the back corner.
“No,” Aaron said. “Take this one.” He pointed to the stack in the front. I took the cup off the front stack and the cup off the back stack and switched them.
All the cups and all the stacks were indistinguishable, but that felt better. It felt right.
“Can we get the weirdos off cup duty?” Thalia asked. “They’re switching around identical plastic cups.”
