AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I refused to look at him. Instead, I studied the spot where the wall became the ceiling. It was really very interesting, much more interesting than whatever Oli had to say to me right now. He’d wanted to see Kai and me together since the day I told him I liked her. We were thirteen, Kai was twelve. So, a long fucking time. But he also warned me on many occasions not to fuck it up, as if I didn’t already know that. Rude of him to assume that I would. Ruder of him to be fucking right.
“I’m not sure I could explain it to you,” I mumbled.
“Well, you have to. What do you think the girls are going to do right now? Pick their noses? They’re going to talk about whatever so obviously happened here, so I’m going to need you to fill me in.”
I lifted my hands to my face and stretched them long, covering me from chin to hairline, placing myself in perfect darkness in which I longed to stay forever. My body bent forward, and I groaned loudly into my palms before leaning up to explain in a rather frantic way. I did my best to tell him everything in as PG a manner as possible. He wouldn’t want to hear about the way Kai squirmed under my touch or just how loud and squeaky she was when she came.
His sternness melted as I trudged on, word by word, detailing to him exactly how I’d managed to jumpstart the process of losing the only fucking thing that ever mattered to me. He even began to smile. The asshole thought this was funny.
“Jonah, you what?” he asked at the end of my story, his grin nothing short of explosive. The expression on his face teetered on disbelief. It was really fucking annoying.
“Oli, this is serious. If I get within two inches of that girl, I am going to absolutely destroy her.”
“Then do it,” he suggested unhelpfully. “God knows you both need it.” Whether he was happy about us hypothetically hooking up or mad about me being a dick, he was evidently not going to be on my side for this conversation. Fucking typical.
I sat down on the couch and sank my face into my hands. “Oli, I don’t know what to do. This isn’t how I wanted it.”
“After twelve years, you’re really going to get picky about what she gives you?”
“I’m not being picky, Oli. I’m trying to be smart about this. I wanted her to fall in love with me not let me fuck her, my god. Am I not allowed to need time to think about this?”
“If you need time then take it, but communicate that to her instead of acting like a fucking child.”
“She is acting like a child!” He tilted his head in a way that let me know my response was, in fact, very childish. I rolled my eyes. “Girls like Kai don’t go for guys like me. She could walk outside on any given day and get anyone she wants. I can’t get involved in that.”
“How could you even say that, Jonah? It’s Kai we’re talking about. You know she isn’t like that.”
I gripped my hair tightly between my fingers. “She has no fucking reason to stay with me, Oli. I refuse to take my medication even though I desperately need it. My social skills are slim to none, except when I’m around her, at which point they’re minimal. I’m very unenjoyable to be near, and she is one of the last people on earth who still hasn’t figured it out. If I fuck her, things will get weird, and she will leave me.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He sat down on the couch next to me and questioned the air with two open hands.
“A lot of things, Oli. That’s not really a secret.” I rubbed the skin of my forehead vigorously with six firm fingers.
“No.”
My head popped up. “No?”
“No. You’re not allowed to make stupid excuses anymore.”
“I’m allowed to do whatever I want.”
He stuck an obnoxious pointer finger my way as I once again became the enemy. “You are not allowed to hurt her.” The way he shook his head made me feel like he thought me incapable of being a functional human. He’d been doing that for as long as I could remember, and it only bothered me because he was right.
“I’m not allowed to hurt her? Are you fucking serious? You know what it would do to me if she and I ever stopped speaking, Oli. You know.”
“That girl is my sister, Jonah. You don’t fuck with her. You’re an adult, so act like one.”
“I’m not fucking with her, Oli. My god. Your sister.” I scoffed. “And what the fuck am I?” My hand flung out rudely as I caught his eye.
“My brother. And I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I have a pretty good fucking feeling it’s going to be your fault.” I crossed my arms over my chest and humphed into my seat. “I love you, man, but you’re a fucking idio—”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” I cut him off right there, becoming nothing more than a grumpy puddle on the couch. “I love you too,” I mumbled.
He let me look at the floor in silence for a few moments, but it wasn’t long before his gaze began nudging at the side of my face. “Hey.” I looked up to find his tiny smile and his outstretched fist waiting for a fist bump.
“That’s not funny, man,” I said, using all my strength to hold back a smirk.
He just extended his arm even more, his hand getting closer to me.
