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I weaved my fingers into the short pieces of his black hair as a question formulated at the back of my tongue. “Jonah?”
In lieu of an answer, his movements stopped and his arms wrapped around the backs of my thighs, hugging me as he rested his chin on my front and smiled up at me, offering me his loyal attention.
“Aren’t you ever going to kiss me?” I asked. He thought for a moment. Then, he planted one mischievous kiss on my hip, maintaining eye contact with me. “That’s not what I mean, Jojo.” My smile could hardly be contained as he tried again on the other hip. “No, not like that.”
“I will,” he finally answered, eyes wide with hope, rolling green hills in my daydream of our future. “But when I do, Kai, it will send me barreling into a very long list of very filthy things I’d like to do to you, and I don’t think Oli and June would appreciate that very much. So please accept my apologies when I say that I will not kiss you until we’re somewhere very secluded, and accept yet another when I say that we’ll stay in that secluded space until I’m feeling ready to come back out, which may take a while.”
I was hardly able to keep from dropping to my knees and forcing him onto the floor. “That sounds like an excellent plan, because all I want is to finally be alone with you, to leave this world and escape to ours.”
The look in Jonah’s eyes was somehow both feral and wholehearted, crazed yet fulfilled. He stood, taking my cheeks between his hands. “That is all I have ever wanted, Kai.” I watched those lips with such close inspection that my body begged me to take that first kiss he was withholding. Fingers gripping my hair let me know he’d noticed, because he pulled my head back just in time for me to watch the feline grin melt across his face. “Why don’t I help you say goodbye to an old friend? Just to take the edge off.”
Moments later, Jonah’s hand was in my jeans. Only the little, teal vibrator separated his fingers from that mind-bending spot at the apex of my thighs. I twisted against the wall as he leaned over me, refusing to kiss me, to lick me, to even touch me. He only watched, whispering little musings into the air around us. “I thought you’d want to use it at least once before I take away any reason for you to keep it around.” He leaned into my ear. “This will feel like nothing when I’m done with you.”
It most certainly didn’t feel like nothing now. The bubbles—waves—filling me to the brim were nothing short of overwhelming, and this beastly version of Jonah surveying me only made me want to explode in an even more catastrophic way. I gripped his shirt in fists, then grabbed his neck, his hair, anything to hold onto while my senses flew away from me. He simply relished it.
“Shh. Our roommates won’t appreciate hearing you like that.” His free hand fell over my mouth. “Can you be quiet for me?”
The smirk on his face as he said that sent me straight over the edge. I most certainly could not.
???
Jonah
I slid the toy from between Kai’s legs and brought my hand to my mouth, consuming every last bit of her that had dripped onto my fingers while she writhed so beautifully.
Quite a few mental monstrosities had built up in my brain over the last twelve years, and Kai was about to receive every single one of them. I forced myself away from her for a few minutes alone so I could clear my mind and body.
She stayed in the room, packing random bits of clothing and necessities of ours into a little suitcase while I locked the bathroom door and began to touch myself. After I finished, I called the nicest hotel I could think of, asked for their nicest room, and then proceeded to call two more until one of them had immediate availability. After securing the perfect space for my perfect Kai, I touched myself once again, a bit to my surprise, praying it would be enough to let me last more than five minutes with her. Having sex for the first time in years was one thing, but having it with the woman of my dreams?
Oh, she was in for it. Big time.
Chapter 39
Jonah
We stood in the elevator on our way to the top floor of some fancy downtown hotel. I could hardly even remember which one I ended up booking. I just knew I was here, with her. It was already 10:00 p.m. but sleep wouldn’t be happening for either of us anytime soon.
Never would thirteen-year-old Jonah, infatuated with the girl in Spanish class, nor sixteen-year-old Jonah, ravaged by hormones, nor nineteen-year-old Jonah, who thought the world was ending, have imagined that I’d be riding in this elevator with this beautiful creature in front of me, anticipating something I’d dreamed about for years. My most cherished fantasy.
Our first kiss.
I wanted to do so many horrifying things to this girl. Things I’d frankly be ashamed to admit aloud. But that… That first kiss… My heart almost burst just thinking about it. I refused to take it until the moment was perfect. It would be one of the most significant things I ever did.
She stood with her back against the wall of the elevator, cheeks still flushed from the events of the day. The black sweatshirt of mine that she wore swallowed her whole, draping over her jeans, bunching around her hand which was currently rolled up by her chin so she could bite on one nail. She peeked at me through the pieces of hair dangling around her face without a word.
“Are you nervous?” I asked. I certainly was. I was and I wasn’t. How could she be the one person on the planet who made my heart race with nerves yet the one person who could calm me down?
“Yes and no,” she said, the smile in her gaze growing.
There was no hiding the sheer joy on my face, the brightness shining from within, from her. “What are you thinking?”
Those sticky-sweet eyes just gleamed like she was hiding the best secret ever told. “That I love you.”
It was a quiet statement, partially muffled by the thumbnail between her teeth, but I heard it, and it sent my mind into a tailspin. I truly thought I was going to pass out. No number of words, gestures, or drawings could describe just how much I had wanted to hear her say that. For half my life, I waited for this very moment.
“Don’t do that to me here,” I begged.
“Why?”
