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She felt like she had whiplash. It would probably have been better if she’d taken Emma’s offer to work through her two weeks’ notice. That way, Vivian would have had some processing time and been able to figure out a proper way to say goodbye. However, she wasn’t going to keep Emma here when she wanted to leave purely for Vivian’s selfish wish to have more time.
Vivian clutched the edge of the desk, trying to ground herself. She couldn’t let herself fall apart. This is exactly why she hadn’t wanted any personal entanglements in the first place.
Vivian cursed herself for thinking that getting involved with Emma was a good idea.
It was bad enough losing the woman she loved. It was bad enough having her heart broken.
Now, she was losing Emma altogether. It shouldn’t have made a difference. It wasn’t like she and Emma were even friends at the moment—Vivian had seen to that.
It still hurt. Why did it hurt so much?
Every day for three weeks, Vivian had dragged herself out of bed when she wanted nothing more than to stay at home and wallow in her own misery. She had thought she was handling things.
Right now, she did not feel like she was handling anything. She felt like she was spiraling into an abyss and there was nothing she could do to pull herself back.
Vivian needed help.
She already had the number saved in her phone. She’d been toying with calling for days now, but she was afraid. She was afraid of what she would have to face if she went down this path… but nothing could be worse than feeling like she did now.
Barb Skye was supposed to be one of the best psychologists in the city. Broken hearts weren’t all that uncommon. Surely, she would be able to fix Vivian.
She placed the call and hung up three times before finally coming up with the resolve to speak to Barb’s receptionist.
“Hello, Dr. Skye’s’ office, you’re speaking to Dawn.”
“Um. Hi. I’d like to book an appointment with Dr. Skye, please.”
“Of course. Are you a new patient?”
“Yes, I am.”
“And your name is?”
“Vivian Sterling.”
“We have an appointment next Thursday at ten o’clock. Would that suit you, Vivian?”
“That would be perfect, thank you.”
Vivian answered a few more logistical questions before hanging up and putting the appointment into her calendar. She saved it simply as appointment. She didn’t need her employees seeing an appointment with a psychologist and starting to catch on to the fact that Vivian was thoroughly falling apart.
She should start finding a new assistant. Life without one would be entirely unmanageable. Despite knowing that it was now an urgent issue, due to her own decision to let Emma go before finding someone else, Vivian felt little motivation to do it.
If she couldn’t have Emma, she wasn’t sure she wanted anyone. This, of course, was incredibly stupid. The risk of making business decisions with her heart rather than her head was exactly why Vivian avoided this kind of mess in the first place.
She spent the next two days frantically busy, trying to do two jobs at the same time. Several people offered to start the process of advertising for a new assistant, but Vivian turned them all down, insisting she would get to it when she was ready.
Right now, she wasn’t ready.
Being so busy that she was barely on her feet by the time she got home did one good thing—it distracted her from her nerves for her appointment on Thursday.
Those nerves returned in full force, however, as Vivian drove to the appointment and settled herself in the waiting room after giving her details to the receptionist. She had never been to therapy before, and she was more than a little anxious.
Vivian didn’t know what kinds of things Dr. Skye would pull from her and she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted the inside of her head to be examined. However, she couldn’t deny that she wasn’t coping and professional help seemed like the most logical option.
“Vivian?”
Vivian reminded herself that she had faced far more challenging and hostile situations than a single therapist who wanted to help her. She stood up and faced Dr. Skye. “That’s right.”
