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“Then get off me,” Joq said shakily and went to push him back.
Chris pressed him hard against the wood. “I fucking love you,” he seethed and realised it was true. “And that makes this so much worse.”
Well, kind of, he thought ironically because he was rock hard again and far from repulsed.
“Such a fucking liar,” Joq said, his voice eerily calm.
Chris had to kiss him. Joq bit his lip and Chris groaned, pushed him harder against the wall. He slid his hand down Joq’s arm and grabbed his hand and pressed it against his erection. Joq gripped and squeezed painfully. Chris gasped into the kiss.
Joq broke the kiss, his voice seething against Chris’ lips. “You get off on that? Get off on lying? Leading guys on? Using them?”
Chris was the one shoving Joq into the wall and yet with every rough stroke on his clothed dick he felt at Joq’s mercy.
“You’re an asshole, you know that?” Joq said as he worked him over.
“Fuck, I’m gonna,” Chris panted and crashed his mouth into Joq’s as he started to come.
He’d barely finished when Joq was pushing him off.
“Wait,” Chris panted and grabbed him again.
“Let me go this time, Chris, I’m not doing whatever fucked up shit this is,” Joq said coolly, but there was something else in his voice.
Hurt.
Chris yanked him back and crushed him against his chest.
He was shocked when Joq gripped him back.
And Chris wasn’t disgusted. Oh, it was still there, thrumming like a little ball in the background, but he wanted Joq more.
“I’m sorry,” he said and really meant it. “I’m fucked up but don’t, please don’t go.”
Joq didn’t reply, but he didn’t stop holding on either.
Chris loved him. He needed to keep him. But what if his problem kept happening now? And then something dawned on him.
“Shit, Joq, what if I need you to be mean to me to get it back?”
Joq groaned. Chris felt him shaking. He held him tighter, kissed his hair and apologised repeatedly.
But Joq wasn’t shaking because he was wracked with sobs, he was laughing.
“That’s funny?” Chris asked with a smile.
“I don’t know,” Joq pulled away and sighed. “Let me get this straight. You can touch me now because I don’t want anything to do with you and your fucked up problem.”
Chris had just come, but at those careless words, he felt interest stir again.
“It would appear so.”
“And you’ve never fucked anyone more than once until me because you lose interest after you’ve come,” Joq said like Chris was an absolute asshole.
Chris ran his hands up and down Joq’s arms and focused on his collarbones. “Yes.”
“But not with me until now.”
“Until before. Not right now.”
