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It’d been a week and Chris had texted multiple times and Joq had replied to those, but it had been clipped, with zero openings for more.
Chris ran an agitated hand through his hair and sighed again.
“Jesus, what happened?” Brendan asked.
Chris laughed, humourless. “Nothing, I just, I went on that date and then, you know, it all got fucked up. The usual.”
Brendan chuckled.
“What?”
“Sorry to be the one to tell you this if you haven’t figured it out yet, but there’s nothing usual about you giving a shit about a date after the fact. I’ve never seen you with the same guy twice.”
Chris winced. There was a reason for that and it wasn’t the picky, one-night-stand, man-whore, fun-time reason everyone seemed to think it was.
“Yeah, well, I’ve been with this guy more than once and then I fucked it up, so,” he shrugged. It was for the best—he kept telling himself that over and over because it was true. He’d always lost interest in the past—why would this time be any different?
“Fucked it up how?” Brendan asked.
“Are we doing this then?” Chris sat up and smiled wryly at him.
“Doing what?”
“Talking about our relationships and braiding each other’s hair?”
Brendan laughed heartily. “Only if you want to, princess.”
Chris smiled. He did want to.
He leaned forward, clasped his palms together. “I really like this guy, but I mustn’t be showing it right or something. And I don’t know if I can push for more because I’ve got a,” how did he say this? “I’ve got this problem.”
Brendan was looking at him like he was trying to figure out what he was on about. Chris could admit that was vague.
“Please don’t tell me you have an erectile dysfunction,” he said eventually.
Chris laughed, humourless, and looked away.
“No, not really,” he blew out a breath. “It’s not physical, I don’t think.”
He glanced at Brendan watching him back, his brow furrowed. “What’s not physical?”
Jesus, he was going to have to spell it out.
“After I fuck a guy once, I lose all interest,” he said matter of fact.
Brendan looked at him with surprise. “You really are an asshole.”
Chris laughed, startled. “Thanks.”
“No, I mean,” he frowned. “I think I’m missing something. If you like this guy maybe don’t do that.”
“It’s not conscious, I don’t fucking do it deliberately. It’s just, they repulse me, after.”
“Jesus,” Brendan said. “I don’t know whether to laugh. Are you serious?”
“Yes,” he replied evenly. “I’m not trying to be an asshole. It just happens, every time. After I just, you know, want them to go away.”
“But you didn’t with this guy?”
