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No matter how hard I screamed.
No matter how hard I fought.
I couldn’t protect her.
I failed her. My best friend. My sister.
And in doing so, I failed him.
I’m sorry, Nicky.
The blackness dances at the edge of my subconscious, and I feel myself slipping away once more.
***
THEN
NICKY – Age 22
“Girls!” I holler as I pass through the foyer, carting a couple of pizza boxes to the kitchen. “Food!”
Rico and JP are hot on my heels, snatching the top box from my grasp and digging in without bothering to grab plates.
“You fuckers are savages, you know that?”
“The fuck we are!” JP exclaims, folding his piece in half before taking a massive bite. “J and Daph can kill a whole pie themselves. We gotta eat now or we won’t get fed.”
I chuckle, sliding the other box onto the counter and pulling off my pink and black patchwork hoodie. “Facts. Just make sure you save some for Tommy, all right? He should be around here somewhere.”
I glance toward the stairway. “Girls!” I shout once more, listening for the sounds of their impending descent.
Nothing.
That’s weird.
“They probably fell asleep,” Rico suggests with a mouthful of pepperoni and cheese. “They’re not loving this lockdown. Daph asked me the other day if it was possible to die from boredom.”
I snort, thinking to myself how any exhaustion the little redhead is experiencing has less to do with boredom, and is most likely from staying up all night riding my dick.
When I put J and Daph on lockdown six weeks ago while I try to sort out who’s making moves against my and Bishop’s crews, I did not account for what having Daph in my space 24/7 would entail. The main thing being that I can’t get enough of her.
Having unrestricted access to the sex siren that serves as the muse for all my dirty fantasies? It’s a goddamn miracle we haven’t been caught yet.
Fuck obsession. I’m a full-blown junkie. She barely shuts the door to the guest room at night before I’m slipping inside behind her, desperate for my fix.
It’s getting harder and harder to keep up our typical banter in front of everyone. Yesterday, I walked up behind her while she was making pancakes and, in my still sleep-ridden haze, dropped a kiss to her shoulder. She skirted away from me so fast, you’d have thought I was a damn leper. I was about to chase her ass down and give her a spanking ‘til my brain kicked on and registered J and the boys at the table. It was sheer fucking luck no one happened to catch it.
I’ve been playing house. It’s possibly the only thing that’s been keeping me sane these last several weeks as all this shit continues to mount against me. My days are fucking miserable. I’m pretty sure I’ve got a rat somewhere in my crew, and with every passing day I’m unable to find ‘em, I grow increasingly ill-tempered to those around me. However, lately I’m less certain if my sour mood has to do with my business, or simply the fact that I have to start my days sneaking out of Daph’s bed. I know it’s completely irrational, but I miss her when we’re apart. So much so that I snapped a picture of her the other day while she was still asleep, all so I could stare at her whenever I want.
The only solace I find is when I’m losing myself inside her each night. And with every impending sunrise, it’s getting harder to let her go.
It can’t go on like this for much longer. Even if we continue to avoid being caught, my parents are set to come home from their recent business trip soon, and they’re going to have questions if Daph and J are not at school.
After my shipment got hit, and Mav’s crew was ambushed, it became evident that things aren’t safe at the moment. I used my connections to get the girls put on virtual status under some bullshit medical exemption. However, that shit is only going undetected at the moment because of our parents’ current work demands. This has been a big expansion year for their business, one that’s required them to be gone for weeks at a time. When they have been able to pop home, it’s been a random weekend here and there. However, they’re in the final stages now. So, these trips will be coming to an end soon. Which means I need to figure this shit out.
Daph’s parents are so self-absorbed, I doubt they’ve even noticed her absence. If it weren’t for the occasional event where she’s expected to play the role of the perfect daughter, she could probably get away with staying here forever.
Once J goes off to college, there’s no reason for me to still live at home. I’ve had my eye on a couple places in the area, and I happen to know Daph got accepted into Vassar—which is close enough for her to commute. She could tell her parents she’s moving in with a roommate. Maybe this wouldn’t have to end…
