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How he’s running on close to empty from the part he feels forced to play.
How do you spot the broken people? Everybody’s always so worried about the quiet kids. The ones who dress in all black and sit alone at lunch because they don’t buy into this social hierarchy crap.
No one ever thinks to check in on the golden boy. Why would you, with a smile so big and beautiful? But no one seems to notice its sole purpose, which is to distract from the darkness inside.
He’s hiding in plain sight—just like me. And I may as well have just shined a spotlight on him.
I’m an idiot.
Realizing I probably only have seconds before he dismisses my stupid ass, I figure I may as well go for gold. Nicky and I rarely ever get moments alone, and to not ask at this point seems like an opportunity wasted. “Why do you love this sport so much, Nick?”
Nicky looks down, volleying his helmet between his palms before hanging it off the handlebar of his bike. “I need it,” he responds, the sincerity of his answer catching me off guard. “Not necessarily the sport itself, but the rush. The adrenaline. It’s the only way I feel alive.”
I nod, still somewhat shocked at his sudden openness with me, and I feel a need to offer up something to him in return.
“It’s ironic.” My hand slaps his helmet, coming to rest upon it. “You do stupid stuff to feel alive. I do stupid stuff to feel nothing at all.”
“Daph,” Nicky whispers, his low voice drawing my attention up to his pity-filled gaze. The look in his eyes fills me with shame, making me feel pathetic in every sense of the word. At best, he must think me an ungrateful, attention-seeking brat. At worst, a depressed mental case. Desperate to do some form of damage control, I scramble to brush the whole conversation off.
“Wow, do you hear me?” I force a laugh. “Don’t I sound like your stereotypical melodramatic teenager? My parents give me a life most kids would dream of, and I’m bitching because they’re too busy to pick up when I call.” Shaking my head, I offer a dismissive wave of my hand. “Ignore me.”
The edges of Nicky’s face are suddenly sharp, with any former signs of softness toward me now having vanished. “That dig Catalina made before. What did she—”
“There you are!” The front door swings open as we’re greeted with the shrieks of my best friend. “Oh my God! You’re both filthy!” Jonsie doubles over, her laughter quickly bordering on hysterics.
Plastering a wide smile across my face, I bound up the stairs, eager to flee this conversation. One where I’m scared he’s about to tell me I can’t spend time with Jonsie anymore. The sheer thought of not being able to see her makes me sick to my stomach.
Jones overlaps her fingers in the shape of a cross, holding them out in front of her. “Nu-uh. Stay back. I already showered this morning.”
I swat at her, her laughter only becoming more boisterous in response.
“You got clothes for me?”
“You know it.” She gestures inside with a tip of her head.
I glance over my shoulder to find Nick staring at me with an unreadable expression. It physically hurts, knowing the peek he allowed me today inside his walls is most likely the only one I’ll ever get. Nonetheless, it’s one I’ll cherish forever.
“Thank you, Nicky.” I catch sight of Jones’s confused expression in my periphery, and I rush to elaborate. “For the ride.”
I start to scurry inside when my name gives me pause. “Daph!”
I freeze, risking a glance over my shoulder. Nicky hasn’t moved. His Adam’s apple bobs on a swallow, and I can tell he wants to finish the question he was in the process of asking when we were interrupted. He doesn’t, though. Instead, his next words take me completely by surprise.
“I’ll always pick up.”
CHAPTER 8
THEN
NICKY – Age 16
“Knock knock.”
I lean against J’s door, tapping my knuckles against the jamb. She glances up from her book, peering up at me from behind the oversized lenses of her red-framed glasses. Her face splits into a wide grin, clenching my lungs in the process.
“Hey! What’s up?”
I pad into her room, skipping the last few steps and power-bombing into her Queen-sized bed. J squeals with laughter, her small body briefly lifting from the sheets before crashing back down into the mattress. Her head comes to rest beside mine, our feet laying out in opposite directions.
