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He shifts on the pillow. “I suppose it’s no different from adopting and the adopted child wanting to find their real parents.”
“True.”
“I’d need to think about it. It’s pretty much like bringing up someone else’s child.”
“Well, in the donor case it would be half mine.”
“I suppose.” He doesn’t sound enthused.
I draw a finger through his chest hair. “What about having a personal donor? Someone we know and trust?” I chuckle at the look on his face. “You don’t like that idea?”
“I’m not letting Alex or James knock you up.”
“You know the donor doesn’t have sex with the woman, right?”
“Even so. That would be weird.”
“Do you think so?
He hesitates, clearly struggling with the idea.
“I’ve changed my mind,” I say with amusement. “You are a Neanderthal.”
“Okay, look, say that I wasn’t infertile, and Gaby and Tyson came to me and asked if I’d donate for them? Wouldn’t it be weird to watch her get pregnant with my sperm? And when the baby was born, every time I looked at it, I’d think that baby’s mine. Don’t you think that would haunt me? And Tyson?”
“I don’t know, I think being a donor is an incredibly generous thing to do. Especially for someone you know well. I’d much rather a friend do it than a stranger.”
“I’m afraid we’ll have to agree to differ on that one.”
I smile. “I can tell you’re a Scorpio.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“You’re a very jealous man, aren’t you?”
His smile fades, and he looks away, out at the dark night.
I push myself up. “Oh, what did I say?”
He sighs. “Nothing, it’s okay. It’s something Shaz accused me of a lot. We had terrible rows about it.”
“Who were you jealous of?”
“A guy she worked with. I was convinced something was going on between them. She always insisted nothing happened.”
“Do you believe her?”
“Possibly, although she’s now married to him and she’s expecting their first baby, so…” He shrugs.
“Oh fuck, Henry, seriously?”
He just sighs.
I cup his face. “I’m so sorry.”
He kisses my hand. “I thought I was going mad. That’s why I have a very low tolerance for gaslighting. It’s one of the worst things a partner can do to you, in my opinion.”
He’s talking about Cam. I know Cam definitely does it to me—he talks as if I’m crazy when I say that he cheated on me with that surrogate. He’s made me feel as if I’m going mad in the past. I’d forgotten about that.
