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I’d talk about it more, but he shrugs, finishes the Rubik’s Cube, puts it on the table, and changes the subject. “So you’re thinking about going with Cam?”
I scratch at a mark on my trousers. “I was. But he was mean to me this morning, and now I just want to tell him to go fuck himself.” My bottom lip quivers, which kind of detracts from the strong, independent image I was trying to project.
Henry’s gaze hardens. “Mean to you? He didn’t…”
“No,” I say hastily, “he wasn’t physical. He would never do that. It’s just… he can be cruel, sometimes. Whoever said words can never hurt you clearly had no idea what they were talking about.”
Henry looks baffled. I’m sure he doesn’t understand what Cam could possibly have said that would have upset me so much. I don’t want to tell him the truth—that we were arguing about sex, again.
“I don’t understand,” Henry says. “How can he be cruel to you, of all people?”
“You mean because I’m his girlfriend?”
“Because you’re you.” His eyes look very blue in the morning sunshine.
“I dunno,” I say, “I’m nowhere near perfect.”
“You are to me. If you were my girl, I’d treat you like a queen.”
I blink, taken aback by the compliment. He’s never said anything like that before.
He doesn’t look away; he just holds my gaze. The sudden heat in his eyes makes me blush from my toes to the roots of my hair.
“Henry!” I scold, my heart hammering.
He looks amused. “I’m just saying. You deserve more.” He glances at the door as it opens. “Morning.”
I tear my gaze away from him as the other members of the senior management team—Alex, James, and Tyson—come in carrying laptops and all talking at once, Alex’s puppy, Zelda, running around their feet.
“Um, morning,” I say, flustered. Out of the corner of my eye I see Henry give a short laugh before he pushes the Rubik’s Cube over to me.
While they get coffee and take their seats, I begin to mix up the colors, using the time to gather my wits. It strikes me then, for the first time in six years, that maybe the cube is more than just a puzzle. That actually, Henry and I communicate through it. It’s a private message we can send in front of everyone, like Morse code. A simple signal that we’re thinking about the other. An unspoken love letter.
Without looking at him, I pass the cube back. He picks it up and begins to turn the sides, his fingers moving over the surfaces where mine have just been, almost like a caress.
*
I don’t get to speak to him alone again that morning, and soon the memory of his words fades like smoke as I deal with the events of the day. Work is busy, as usual. Kia Kaha makes specialized medical equipment with the aim of helping people with restricted movement to gain back some of their mobility. I’m the head physio, and after the meeting I have three morning appointments and two afternoon ones, as well as a team meeting with all the other physios. After that I have a Zoom call with a company in Australia at five p.m. for an hour, discussing a new robotic knee brace I helped to invent.
During my time at Kia Kaha, encouraged by the guys who are so innovative and smart, I’ve become more and more interested in orthotics, which is a medical specialty focusing on the design and application of orthoses, also known as braces or calipers. I’d love to study the discipline, and the guys have always supported me with any career development, but there’s no course available in New Zealand at the moment.
I didn’t tell Henry, but I’ve been looking at a university in Melbourne that offers a Masters of Clinical Prosthetics and Orthotics. Cam would prefer to go to Sydney, but I’m hoping I could persuade him to switch cities as a compromise.
Leaving Kia Kaha would be a wrench. I love all the guys, and they all form essential parts of the company. Alex is the spine, with his vision and his work ethic that keeps us all moving forward; James is the face of the firm, and his business acumen has made the company so successful financially; Tyson, with his courage and determination in learning to walk again after his accident has been our inspiration and our driving force for what we do; and then, of course, there’s Henry.
Henry is the soul of Kia Kaha. It was he who liaised with the local kaitiaki or Maori guardians who advocate for elements of nature when we designed the office in order to make it as beautiful and sustainable as possible. Every time I walk into the lobby and see the carved, light wood, the river stones, and the native plants, it makes me think of him. Henry has a deep spirituality that rings through every part of this building, and I would miss it—him—immensely if I were to leave.
But Cam’s my partner, and I want him to be happy. So maybe moving to Melbourne would be a compromise. He gets to go to Australia, and I get to continue with my passion. Win win, right?
With this in mind, after the Zoom call finishes, I ask to speak to the head of the company alone, as I know she trained in Melbourne. Once the others have left the call, I bring up the topic of the university and ask her opinion of the orthotics course, and we chat for a while about it. By the time I end the call, I’m buzzing with enthusiasm. It sounds perfect, and she said she’d be happy to provide a reference for me if I were to apply to study there. Excited, I’m about to write up my notes when I get a text from Cam. Startled, I realize it’s the fourth he’s sent in the past forty minutes.
Where the fuck are you?
I look at the time. It’s nearly ten past six. We’re meeting at the Pioneer, a local bar, at 6:45 p.m. for a Christmas trivia quiz, and I still have to get ready, but we live minutes away from the bar, so we’ve plenty of time yet.
I text back, Keep your knickers on, I won’t be long. We’ve got plenty of time.
Immediately, he sends another message. I told Mum we’d call in at five thirty so I could see Alan and Pete. Now we don’t have time.
