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I cover my face with a hand. “Not great.”
“Why, what’s happened?”
I tell him what his father just said.
He snorts. “He’s just fed up. He’ll get over it.”
“I don’t know, Cam, he looked pretty serious.”
“He wouldn’t leave her.”
I take a deep breath. “Cam, I need you to come home. I can’t deal with this. I don’t want to deal with it.”
“I can’t, you know I can’t. I’ve got to make sure Alan and Em are all right.”
Tears prick my eyes. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
I hear him inhale, and then he gives an audible, frustrated sigh. “Don’t do this to me. Don’t get hysterical.”
That makes me angry. “I’m not hysterical. I’m tired and frustrated. These aren’t my parents.”
“No, maybe not, but when you’re in a relationship you help each other out, right?”
“That’s true, but what am I getting out of it, Cam? Tell me. What’s in it for me?” Tears run down my cheeks.
He’s silent for a long moment. I don’t speak, though, and eventually he says, “All right. I’ll come home. I’ll try and book a flight tomorrow.”
I wipe my cheeks. “Thank you.”
“Can you stay there tonight?”
“Yes, I’ll stay.”
“Thank you. You know I appreciate everything you do.”
This is always how it is. He drives me to the edge, then spends the next few days pulling me back from it. I’m so tired of it. So tired.
“I’ve got to go,” he says, “Em is waiting for me. I’ll let you know what flight I get.”
“All right. Bye.”
“Bye.” He ends the call.
Leaving Roy in his shed, I go to bed. Before I turn off the light, I check my phone.
There’s a message from Henry. Love you. Miss you. Want you. Always x
Everything that my partner should be saying to me. Oh God, that hurts so bad.
Another text pops up as I’m watching. It’s a link to a song on Spotify—Bill Withers’ Ain’t No Sunshine. I press play, turning the volume down so it’s just a murmur.
Bill wonders where his girl has gone, and tells us there’s darkness every day she’s away, and tears run down my face again.
I don’t know what to say to Henry. So instead I just send him a heart. Then I turn off the phone and the light.
Within minutes, I fall into an exhausted sleep.
*
