I let out a long sigh. There’s just over a week until the conference in Sydney, and I’ve got tons of work to do. James has been into the office once or twice, but he’s obviously tied up with what’s happened with Maddie, and the funeral tomorrow, so he hasn’t been able to contribute much to preparing our presentation. Alex is busy covering for James and getting Kia Kaha up and running ready for the company to reopen on Monday. So it’s been down to Tyson and me to work everything out. It’s meant working fourteen-hour days, eating lunch at our desks, and coming home most nights exhausted and with a headache. But I’ve welcomed the work, because it’s taken my mind off Juliette. A bit.
She’s still with Cam. I know she’s not having the time of her life, though. Although I haven’t seen much of her at work, she texts me a lot and occasionally calls me, and it sounds as if things are horrendous with Cam’s family. She’s also exhausted and feeling the strain, but she won’t listen when I tell her she has to put herself first sometimes. I understand that she’s been brought up to have a deep-rooted sense of community, and it’s important to her to help people, but she doesn’t want to be with Cam, and all this is doing is delaying the inevitable.
I can’t push her, though. All I can do is get on with my own life and hope she sorts things out in the end.
I wish she was here. My body aches for her, and so does my heart. I hate to see her suffering like this. I want to help and comfort her, to take her to bed and help her forget. At night I dream about her soft mouth and her light-brown skin and her silky hair. But like Rangi, my hands are tied, and all I can do is wait.
I’m tired, and it’s going to be a big day tomorrow. At least I’ll be able to see her, and she’s told me that Cam won’t be coming to the funeral, so that’s something.
I swim lengths for half an hour, get changed, have dinner, answer some emails, write up some notes while I half-watch a movie, and then go to bed at nine-thirty, unable to keep my eyes open. I’m asleep within about five minutes of my head hitting the pillow, and it’s not even properly dark.
Jesus, I’m getting old.
*
Friday dawns dull and gloomy, kind of fitting for a funeral. I dress in a dark suit and tie, and head over to James’s house around one o’clock. The funeral’s not until three, and he’s hired caterers to organize the wake, but I know guests are going to be arriving soon, and I offered to be there to help.
He looks pale but composed, and Aroha is gorgeous in a white blouse and black pencil skirt. She’s dressed Leia up in a red frock with hearts on it, though, with a matching headscarf, and the baby is like a red rose in a concrete city.
Most people are going straight to the funeral home, but some of his family turn up, and soon I’m busy making sure everyone has a drink and a seat, greeting others as they arrive, and liaising with the catering company so that everything runs smoothly. Alex, Missie, Gaby, and Tyson arrive around two, also wanting to be with James, and I can see he appreciates his friends being around at such a difficult time.
Juliette arrives not long after. I watch her get out of the Uber, and stand in the doorway to greet her as she approaches.
“Hey,” I say softly.
To my surprise, she comes right up to me, slides her arms around me, and gives me a big hug. “Mmm, I’ve missed you so much,” she whispers.
“Aw, me too.” I tighten my arms around her. She’s lost weight over the past few weeks, emphasized by the black dress she’s wearing, and she feels slight and fragile in my arms.
“I thought white was the traditional color of mourning for Hindus,” I say.
“I’m not a Hindu,” she says. “If I was, I wouldn’t be here.” Not explaining that mysterious comment, she moves back. “You look nice.”
“Thank you.”
She looks up at me. “It’s really strange—I can feel confused and emotional and all over the place, but when I see you, it feels as if everything’s going to be okay.”
“It will be. We’ll get there.”
A frown flickers on her brow, but she just says, “How’s James?”
“He’s hanging in there.”
“I’ll go and see him.” She gives me a small smile, then walks inside.
I watch her go, wishing she was mine, and I could stay at her side today. But she’s not, and so I turn away to greet the next guests, hoping that if nothing else I get to spend some time with her later.
*
The funeral goes as well as can be hoped. Afterward, I stay by James’s side, steering him through the crowd before delivering him to the car with his father and stepmother, make sure that everyone has transport back to the house, then head off with Alex and Missie.
When we get back, the catering staff have everything in hand, and begin serving drinks. I look for James, but he’s vanished. I approach Aroha and say, “Do you know where he is?”
“I saw him going around the house to his room,” she says. “Is he okay?”
“Leia’s father turned up at the funeral home,” I tell her. “I don’t know what he said to James, but he went white as a sheet afterward.”
“I’ll go and see if he’s okay.” She holds Leia out to me. “Can you take her for a minute?”