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She did. I spent a month getting back in her good graces. I was grateful to have a second chance. I wasn’t taking it for granted. But she made me glad to be alive. I loved her. I don’t know how I managed to feel this about anyone. I adored her. It was everything at once.
“Well, you should consider retiring soon,min skat. Big day tomorrow. You both need your rest.”
I agreed. “You’re probably right. She and the girls won’t sleep, of course.”
“Probably not, but you will. You'd sleep through a disaster.”
I laughed. “I’m going to find her.”
I walked through the crowd to discover Astrid and Alexandra talking to a Belgian. She looked at me, confused. I motioned to my watch and mouthed “It’s late” before she caught on.
“Ah, yes, it’s getting late. We might want to turn in.”
I nodded.
“I’ll make sure the little ones get back,” Astrid said. “Go ahead.”
Finally, after a week of little time to even say a word to Alexandra, I again got to take her hand and walk with her. It was a relief. She linked her hand with mine as we walked towards her room. Little was said. We felt out the words. What do you say to someone who you love and will marry after only a few months of half-hearted courtship? What do you express to someone you care about the night before your wedding? What do you say after a huge blowup? Do you clear the air? I was unsure.
“It was a nice evening,” she said. “Not bad. I was worried I might be bored.”
“Hard to be bored watching Odette and Ingrid lose it over every little thing they’ve never done before,” I said.
She smiled, her face softening. “Yes. They are good for that.”
“I never had sisters, Lex. It’s different. I was the baby. It’s nice to be a big brother to them. There is something sweet about it. They’re a hoot.”
She chuckled. “A laugh, yeah. I will miss them. We’ve never been apart for more than a week—only when I went to Lundhavn with you. Can they handle it?”
“It will be okay. They are safe here. Astrid has them under control. They will go to school. I’ve never seen two children so excited about school as they are.”
“They have never attended a proper school. It is all new to them.”
We stopped by her door. I knew I must leave her. Or must I? Did it even matter anymore? I thought we’d thrown away impropriety the night of our engagement dinner. Then, it all fell apart. I figured now was not the right time.
Alexandra looked at our intertwined hands. “Rick, I am sorry that I cannot jump right back to where we were. And maybe… it’s for the better. Because we were so deep into whatever rolled over us that we were blind to any semblance of sense.”
“That’s true,” I said.
“But I think we can get back there,” Alexandra said. “At least I hope we can. I… I don’t want this to be a sham. When we say those words tomorrow, I want them to mean something. We’re starting on a clean slate, right?”
I nodded. “If you want that, I want it.”
She smiled. “I do.”
I needed a lot more than just a sweet smile. I wanted to run Alexandra through the door and deposit her on the bed. I longed to watch myself undo her and feel her nails dig into my back. I tried to avoid thinking about it, but it was no use. That attraction for her came rushing back.
“I love you, Alexandra.”
“I know,” Alexandra said.
She didn’t say it back. I didn’t want to admit how I longed to hear it from her. I was hook, line, and sinker. I had given her all my heart to stomp on before. She wasn’t stomping but she wasn’t reciprocating, either. I was powerless, but it was all worth it if someday she returned my feelings.
She stared up at me with her beautiful, sweet eyes. I couldn’t help it. I went in for the kiss. In true Alexandra style, she pulled me in even closer. She kissed me harder. I stuck my roots into the ground to stay upright as she gripped my lapels. We stood there for a bit, slowly kissing. At some point, our animal brains took over.
Pinning her to the wall next to the bedroom door, my hands roved. Rather than display any degree of disagreement, Alexandra pushed her hips towards me. She quivered, her body pressed against mine. As I kissed her neck, she gasped.
She asked, “Do you want to… come in?”
