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But for our relationship to work, I need some answers. That and some boundaries lifted.
“Who owned my room before me?” I ask. But in my mind, my heart knows the answer. I want it to be anything other than what I suspect. “Did the other mortal maidens also once live in my quarters?”
Shaking his head, he murmurs his response, “You're only the second occupant to live in those rooms… The first was Persephone who lived here one hundred years ago. Daughter of Demeter and the heir to the Court of Arva. My former fiancée.” Apollo reminisces, instinctively I frown. He spots my look instantly. “No, it wasn’t like that.”
But even then, I ask, “Why did you put me in the same room as your former fiancé?”
Something ached in my soul. I want Apollo so bad but how long could I have him. He’d be young forever while I’d grow old. He needs someone like Persephone.
Someone who understands the court of the gods.
Someone who won’t die.
“It- It- It felt right with you,” he flushes. “When I met you, I’m not sure you realized how hard it was to keep my hands off you. Even in public. Even in front of crowds. I wanted to be touching you. Loving you. Worshiping you.”
A blush springs to my cheeks.
The man knows how to make a maiden feel special.
“It felt like the right time. I thought you’d enjoy her room. You both had a love of plants and I thought it would suit you. Persephone and I grew close over time,” he whispered against my temple. “Our marriage was arranged. Made for political reasons.”
“So, you didn’t love her?” I clarified. Almost gobsmacked at what he said.
“At first, no and I don’t think it would be a stretch for me to say that Persephone felt the same way. We were trying to figure out a new normal. The only people who understood what we were going through was each other,” he explained.
“I don’t know what he did to her, but I felt lost for years. Life was aimless and I was trying to manage.” Apollo explained, “To make matters worse, we’d barely usurped my father and it was like a power vacuum to the area. A war of House Zeus, trying to see who the new ruling house, House Leto or House Hera, would be.
“If Persephone were there, that would’ve helped greatly. I would’ve likely secured the favor of House Demeter who could’ve more than likely placated her sister. But without Persephone as my queen, the alliances were drawn.
“We truly loved each other. We were once happy here. After her absence, I was thrown into a pit. Left to be torn apart, limb from limb. Scraping at the edges, trying to pull myself away from my demons.” Explained Apollo. The words poured from his mouth like a waterfall.
I could feel that he doesn’t want me hurt.
He wants me to know the truth.
“Can we talk about my room?” I ask with wide eyes. “I think I understand why you barricaded me in there.”
“Confining you in the suite was a moment of weakness. I didn’t want someone else who I'm responsible for to be lost,” he explains.
“What happened to her?”
“Olympus is wonderful but there are dark forces at work in the kingdom. Rumors of war. Much like the assassins who came here to imprison me. They could’ve hurt you or held you hostage. If something were to happen to you or Artemis…” His voice trails off. “I'm not sure if I could forgive myself again.”
I nod softly, placing a comforting hand on his arm.
“Could you ever love again?” I ask. My body starts twitching.
The flower snakes between his fingers as he rests his head between his knees. Shoulders shaking, he fights against the tears, “I loved her. I wanted her to be happy. I wanted her safe and here with me. But when she disappeared, when she was taken, I missed her so much. Every day I would pray to Gaia that she’d walk through the front gate but now, I'm not sure. It has been decades. I'm not sure if the maiden I loved would still be there. But see, this is what I like about us. We’re here. We can choose each other.”
My eyes widened at the show of emotion. A stark contrast from his typical emotional behavior.
Everything felt like it was coming together. Making more sense, “Which is why you didn’t want me wandering.” Cautiously, I pat his back. Rubbing circles like how my dad used to comfort me. I prepare for him to flinch away from my touch, but he leans in, welcoming the contact.
He nods as he wraps his fingers in his long golden curls. The yellow peeks out from its grasp.
Looking at the solemn man beside me, he appears sad. Lonely.
“Can we make a compromise,” Apollo sighs.
