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“Mattie,” I repeated, more gently and cupping her face. “I’m not goi—”
“Kiss me,” she gritted out, shoving me into the door again. Her voice caught as she added, “I want to feel.”
I searched her expression, jumping from her quivering lips to her pleading eyes. I tightened my hold on her face. Not stopping to think, I bent my face to hers and claimed her lips with mine. She whimpered into me, her arms raising to wrap around my neck. She clung to me, and I kissed her hard, demanding all of her. She gave it.
I turned her, slamming her against the door, and she sighed in relief, mingling her breath with mine and slanting her mouth over mine with hungry need. Her hands tore at my shirt, popping buttons away from the fabric and ripping it open down to my navel. Without breaking our kiss, I loosened my tie, yanking it down until it slipped free of its knot, and I could pull it away from my collar. Then I grasped the choker of her shirt around her throat and ripped it. She let out a breathy laugh just before I trapped her to my body and deepened our kiss. She shoved my shirt aside, smoothing her palms over my chest. Her tongue plunged into my mouth, battling with mine for dominance, and I moaned into her mouth as she pressed her hips against mine.
I knew this was reckless. I knew it was a trauma response, and there was a chance Mattie would both resent me and blame me when this was over. There was a good chance this was the least healthy thing either of us could do.
But I didn’t care. I’d never made a habit of choosing the morally sound path, and I wasn’t going to start now. I yanked her ruined blouse out of her jeans, and ripping the fabric at the seams, I tore it off her torso and over her head. She pushed my open shirt down my arms, and then we were skin-to-skin. She took a moment to look me up and down, and her eyes traced the ink on my skin going down my chest, over my abdominal muscles, and disappearing into my belt. Then she unclasped her bra, eyes soldered to mine with feverish intensity, and it fell away. My breath hooked my soul and left my body.
She was stunning. Perfect. Every milky white inch of her body glowed, and I followed a line from her pink lips to her rosy nipples, tracing the generous curve of her breasts and down the dip and flare of her waist. I wanted to worship her on my knees. I wanted to taste her and savor her until she melted in my mouth and found safety in her satiation.
But Mattie didn’t want that. She wanted to feel. She wanted me to handle her and push her until her fears were shoved into the background and every intense sensation took over her thoughts. She wanted me to swirl the blackened ink from my soul all over her body until her pearly skin and my sooty past made a morally gray pattern on her skin. And I realized, in that moment, that I would do it for her. I would be the devil himself if it allowed her to breathe. I’d be the angel of death if it brought her back to life, and no matter how desperately I wanted to worship her, I would sink into the flames of Hell instead if that’s what she needed.
I was lost in her, and I didn’t want to be found.
I undid the clips on the utility belt, making fast work of it and tossing it aside. Mattie glared with a mixture of hate and desire, her gaze hot, and then she unbuttoned her jeans. I hooked a finger in her waistband and tugged her hard against me. “Touch yourself without my permission, and I’ll spank your ass pink.” I threatened.
Her mouth opened, and then her eyes hooded with desire. “Okay.”
“You want to feel, little rabbit?” I asked, bending down to tease my lips up the column of her throat. I realized suddenly why she’d worn a shirt with a collar around her neck. The bruise from my bite the day before had turned a delicate shade of blue and purple. I pressed my thumb against it and brought my lips to hover over hers. “I’ll make you feel so much, you’ll scream senseless.”
Pressure on the bruise sliced through the pain in my heart. I sucked in a harsh breath as Kael hovered his lips over mine, and the knowledge that my body was his, that I would breathe and feel and be at his command brought me a euphoric kind of peace. I needed this. I needed him. The terror had been so consuming, I had almost lost myself to it. I’d known he wouldn’t hurt me had he used the knife, but it wasn’t Kael I was afraid of.
It was him. The one I refused to acknowledge. The one who haunted my nightmares and controlled me like an insidious disease from the inside. I’d do anything to not feel that. And Kael was clearly willing to take my fear from me, turn it inside-out and lavish it on my body in the way I craved.
He shifted his hand on my neck, cupping the back of it and tugging me up to meet his lips. But where our kiss had been frantic and needy a moment ago, it had turned slow and seductive. It was like Kael wanted to savor my mouth one course at a time, piece by piece, until he had feasted on my lips and left nothing behind. He filled me with the scent of him, with mint and tingly eucalyptus, and then he filled my mouth, claiming me and plunging his tongue deep in a way that made my pussy ache for the same treatment.
I reached up to cup his face, my fingers scraping along his rough jaw. He trailed his hands up the undersides of my arms, causing me to shiver with pleasure, and then he lifted my hands to my head with my wrists crossed. “Up here,” he ordered softly. Then he palmed the back of my head, scattering the pins that held my hair to one side. He pressed his other hand to the small of my back, pulling me into his kiss and arching my back.
I kept my hands crossed on top of my head, and he slid his left hand around my bare torso, burning a path to my breasts until he folded his hand over one with a punishing squeeze. “Tell me you’re mine.”
“I’m yours,” I whispered, letting my head fall back and my eyes close as his lips sketched a line up my jaw and to the sensitive spot where my pulse thrummed. He kissed me softly, and then he stepped away, leaving me cold. I opened my eyes, arms still over my head, and watched with fascination as he picked up his black silk tie from the floor.
“You’re going to prove it. You want to feel? Then that’s what you’ll do. Close your eyes.”
I obeyed, and the tie slid across my vision, blocking out the rest of the light. Kael tied it tightly, cinching it around the back of my head and knotting it deftly. His hands tickled up and then down my arms, and he bent down to stroke a warm breath along the curve of my neck. “I like you on display like this, Mattie.” My breath hitched, and then I jumped as Kael’s hands skimmed down my waist and squeezed my hips. “How many times did you escape me, little rabbit?”
“Three,” I gusted out.
“And how many times are you going to come for me?”
My skin tingled as his hands swept over my bare waist before grasping the button on my white jeans. “Three.”
“Wrong.” He popped open the button, and with one hand teasing my nipple and the other unzipping my pants, he kissed the bruise on my neck. “I don’t get even, Bunny. I get revenge.”
Oh, fuck me dead.
Kael pinched my nipple with his left fingers while his right pulled up on the waistband of my black lace thong, stretching it taut and rubbing it against my clit with burning pressure. I groaned, leaning back and pushing my pelvis forward against the pull of the fabric. He lightly nipped the bruise on my throat, and the pain sent a jolt of pleasure between my legs. “You’re giving yourself the first one,” he whispered against my skin.
I released a sound of disbelief, but then he was guiding me down to the couch where he laid me out with my head on the cushy arm. “Kael—” I started.
“Hand down your pants,” he instructed. With the blindfold on, I couldn’t see him. I didn’t know if he was watching or what he was thinking. I only knew the throbbing need at the apex of my thighs. And then I felt his hand on mine, dragging my fingers over my nipples and then slowly down my abdomen. “Come on, baby,” he whispered roughly. “Show me.”
The fact that he hadn’t even asked me to undress all the way somehow made this hotter. Like he’d caught me masturbating by myself in my apartment and wanted to watch me finish. I slid my hand beneath my underwear, and at the first touch of my fingers to my hot center, I sucked in a shallow breath. “Oh, God.”
Kael’s mouth descended on my breast, fogging a warm breath over my nipple before flicking out his tongue to tease the bud. “Move, Mattie. Make yourself come, or I’m adding one to your tally.”
