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So she just wasn’t going to let it happen.
She focused on mundane tasks to occupy herself with. Stocking supplies. Cleaning nozzles and wiping down stainless steel. Rearranging Halloween displays for the umpteenth time. Updating the chalkboard with tomorrow’s menu.
Her phone buzzed again. Katie didn’t even bother to look at the notification and turned it off completely. It wasn’t Cameron, that she knew. They had an away game this weekend. He and the rest of the football team were currently on a plane to New Jersey. They had plans to see each other on Sunday. She had a lot to think about before then.
The voice in her head told her there wasn’t anything at all to think about. Had she ever even dreamed of someone more perfect for her than Cameron? No. He was smart, athletic, and gorgeous. Kind, loving, and respectful—he treated her like a queen. He’d all but come right out and said he wanted more from their relationship—and he didn’t mean sex. A future. Cameron talked about how he could stay here in the city another three years for law school instead of going to Harvard if he got in. They’d graduate at the same time. He wanted to go back to Montana afterward and set up his law practice there.
What did she want? She couldn’t even decide on a major, for chrissakes. Katie knew she didn’t want to leave the city, though. This was where she wanted to stay. It was home now. She’d grown up in Nowheresville, surrounded by nothing but cows and corn. She didn’t know very much about Billings or the Treasure State. Cameron said it was beautiful. Glacier-carved mountains. Yellowstone. Blue open skies.
It shouldn’t matter to me, should it?
But it did.
Because her heart told her that while she cared for Cameron, maybe even loved him, that she wasn’t in love with him. Katie didn’t feel the things she thought she should anyway. And she so desperately tried to. But you can’t force a heart to feel what it won’t.
Hearts are stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid organ.
She wondered what her heart might have felt if she never kissed Brendan in the park that night, or if she had met Cameron first. Would he have given her butterflies then? It was silly to even think of, because she’d never know the answer to that question. And besides, do butterflies really mean anything anyway?
They don’t last for long, do they?
Isn’t that fluttering feeling in your tummy really just a rush of dopamine released by your brain when you’re falling in love?
Biology.
Does true love give you butterflies forever?
Katie wasn’t sure.
Cameron made her feel other things, though, and that was biology too. They hadn’t had sex yet, but she knew he wanted to—a lot. Her lady bits were on board with the idea—oh, were they ever! Two weeks ago in her bedroom, he convinced them that he loved to lavish them with his utmost attention.
That morning, she’d gotten over her shyness being naked in front of him the second his fingers grasped her nipples and his tongue found her clit.
Her pussy wept for him to sink his dick inside her as he rubbed her clit and lapped up her wetness.
Her head and her heart weren’t quite ready for that, though. Not yet. And maybe that meant something too.
She glanced over at the counter. It had to mean something that on several occasions she’d attempted to recreate the sensations on her own with thoughts of someone else.
Stop it, Katie. This isn’t about him.
Right. Who the fuck was she kidding?
Just as Katie wiped orange chalk from her hands, the door to the shop opened. Internally, she groaned. Only fifteen more minutes and she would have been home free. She plastered on a smile and turned from the chalkboard. There stood Chloe, sans stroller, perky as ever. She appeared to be alone, but Katie found herself discreetly glancing past her to see if anyone else was coming through the door.
Chloe giggled. “It’s just me.”
Katie relaxed. “Your usual?”
“It’s chilly out there tonight.” She ran her hands up and down her arms. “Can you make it hot?”
“Sure.” Katie found herself smiling. “Plain, no sugar with whipped?”
“Yeah.” Chloe nodded.
She went about brewing the espresso. Chloe leaned across the counter to watch her and smiled. Was she supposed to make small talk or something?
Why the hell not?
