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The twinge of guilt he almost felt vanished the instant he spoke. “My father divorced her for his twenty-five-year-old intern. She’s always fucking sad. Must you ask?”
Taylor had genuine concern for his mother and he had planned to go visit and spend some time with her, he just hadn’t planned on going right then, but that’s the thing about plans. They change. Go awry. The best thing for him, and for Jesse, would be to make a clean break and for him to go away for a while.
“I’m sorry, Tay.”
I am too.
“How long will you be gone?”
“I’m not sure, mate.”
He walked over to the door and opened it. He exited the bus and leaned back against it so Jesse would follow. So they could say their farewells and he could watch him walk away. Maybe for good. Maybe not. He would hope for not.
Jesse leaned forward and embraced him. They were toe to toe. His hands clamped his shoulders, his forehead rested on his. That mouth was just a breath away. “Why are you really going?”
“You know why.” Taylor fought to keep his voice from cracking.
His heart was breaking.
“Don’t,” Jesse pleaded. “Don’t do this. It’s all going to work out…I promise you.”
As much as Taylor wanted to believe him, he knew better. You can’t promise something you have no control over, can you? He saw movement out of the corner of his eye and turned his head slightly. Kyan, the little blonde, and a purple gorilla were walking toward them. Time to put an end to this.
“We can talk when I get back.” He stood up straight and Jesse took a step back. The lamppost illuminated his face. Kyan was moving his girl and the purple gorilla along in the opposite direction now. The little blonde glanced back at them from over her shoulder. “Take care, mate.”
Jesse grabbed him by the shoulders and held him to his chest. He knew he shouldn’t, but he wanted to taste that mouth one more time. Taylor raised his face as Jesse leaned in. He closed his eyes and slipped his tongue inside, hoping it wasn’t for the last time.
One by one, the neon spokes on the Ferris wheel went dark. No bright lights remained to illuminate the midway. The world was dim and littered with wrappers and paper cups. The sticky remnants of sweet memories stuck to his shoes as he walked along First Avenue, and for the first time in his life, Jesse feared he could lose.
Taylor. What the fuck just happened back there?
The alley was black as pitch. He could hear the faint laughter of late-night partygoers on the avenue, distant music from a patio bar. His Range Rover, it’s Balmoral-blue metallic paint barely discernible in the darkness, was the only vehicle still parked behind Charley’s. That surprised him. While he knew Kyan had taken Linnea to see Venery’s concert—the concert he was truly sorry he and Chloe missed—he expected to see Dillon’s red Porsche still parked beside him, but maybe he’d been too beat after such a long day to finish off his night at the club next door.
Jesse had hoped Dillon would still be here. He needed someone he could talk to about Taylor. Chloe. Was it too late? Had he already fucked it all up? He was afraid that he had and he supposed he could go talk to Brendan, but the scene inside the club held no appeal tonight.
He sat in the driver’s seat and stared at his phone that he’d left on the console. He debated whether he should call or at least text Taylor. Apologize again. Maybe he needed to give him until tomorrow to cool off and then he’d see things more clearly. It wasn’t over. That’s what he kept telling himself.
As Jesse stared at it, the dark screen woke up to signal an incoming text. He quickly picked it up, thinking it was from Taylor or Chloe. Disappointed to find it was his cousin.
Ky: Hey—I just dropped off Linn. She saw you.
Jesse: Saw me?
Ky: Yeah. She saw you and Taylor by the bus.
Shit!
Linnea and Chloe were tight. He didn’t know exactly how much Linnea saw, but if she talked to Chloe before he had the chance to? Yeah. He could lose her before he ever really had her. How had he made such a fucking mess of things when all he was trying to do was uncomplicate them?
You’re a chicken shit coward, Nolan. That’s how.
As much as he didn’t want to admit it to himself, deep down he knew it was true. The thing was, Chloe mattered to him. Taylor mattered to him. He had feelings for them both, and yes, he was afraid. That she wouldn’t be able to accept him, to love him, to embrace who he was—Taylor was a big part of that. He couldn’t lose him. Had he already? He didn’t want to lose Chloe either, and he would if he didn’t talk to her before Linnea did. He had to tell her.
Jesse: What exactly did she see?
Ky: Not that much, but you and Chloe have to talk. I won’t lie to Linn—get me?
Jesse: I’m sorry. Going to see her now. Thanks, cuz.
