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It’s humbling.
As I lean back on the edge of my desk, my body starts to feel the effects of being on my feet for so long while still not being 100%, the bell ringing startles me. As I jump a little and almost stumble over my own feet, my students chuckle. I give them a big smile and shake my head as they start to collect their belongings.
“We’ll keep talking about these chapters tomorrow. Don’t forget about the reading assignment for the weekend and if you’re starting to outline your essays and need to ask any questions, you know where to find me.”
The thought of eating the yogurt and fruit I brought with me for lunch, which is what I have now, has me sighing and walking back around my desk. Sure, eating light while I’m at school is a good idea, but at the same time I know it’s not going to hit the spot. The cafeteria food isn’t great, but I think it’s cheeseburger day and that sounds a lot better. Even a subpar cheeseburger is better than yogurt.
“Ms. C,” Colt’s voice pulls me from considering tossing my lunch away, if you can call it a lunch at all. When I look up at him, he watches the last few students filing out of the classroom before turning back to me. “I’ve been thinking about my essay for this book, and I wanted to run something by you.”
I try to temper my reaction, but it’s difficult to do. He has managed to blindside me by coming to me to talk about his essay ahead of time. He hasn’t done it once this year, no matter how many times I’ve offered the class that my door is open while reminding them I’m here to help.
It’s not something I mind doing because I want to see my students succeed. If they don’t ask for help when they need it, I can’t help steering them in the right direction or help them think through their thesis. It’ll make writing the essay that much easier when they sit down to do it.
“Sure,” I rest my elbows on my desk and lean toward him slightly, “what are you thinking about writing about?”
“Well,” he looks unsure which is not something I’m used to seeing from Colt, “there are a lot of interesting themes, but one stands out to me because it’s something I’m going through as well.”
I perk right the fuck up at this. Relating the themes of the book we’re reading in class to my student’s life is like catnip to me. Giddiness fills me at the thought of Colt finally putting in some effort and turning in an essay that actually shows me how smart I know he is.
“There are some great themes in the novel. We haven’t talked about all of them in class yet either,” I point out since I don’t want him to decide too early and then miss out on something that would appeal to him more. “What are you thinking about making the focus of your essay?”
“It’s clear that the book is a coming-of-age story. Huck has already done a lot of growing up, but I’m sure there is more coming his way as we get to the end of the book,” he muses, and my mouth drops open. Growing up and Huck’s character arc is not something we’ve talked about yet. “It’s clear he’s learning through experience and expanding his world view from the narrow scope he grew up with and the rigid teachings of right and wrong he was indoctrinated with. The way he’s making room to interpret the world through the lens of his experience on the river, which includes so much more than the place that he grew up, reminds me of the way we’ll eventually leave high school and go off to college or enter the work force. We’ll have the base of our home and our education, but we’ll have to adapt and learn from new experiences at that time.”
I blink up at Colt a few times, my brain trying to process his words and reconcile them with the freshman standing in front of me. The way his shoulders slump when I don’t say anything right away has me snapping out of my shock.
“Even coming to high school from middle school is an adjustment that you’re going through. Huck is building his experiences in the same way that you are,” I offer, and he flashes me a huge grin. This one isn’t flirty at all; it’s pure joy at being listened to and understood. “I think that would be a strong subject for your essay. I have no doubt you can use that context to create parallels between Huck’s journey and your own, without the Mississippi River preferably.”
Colt chuckles and nods eagerly. He’s all frantic energy and excitement as he nods. I can see the wheels continuing to turn in his head and knowing he’s directing that toward my class and his next essay is gratifying.
A knock on my door jamb has us both turning in that direction, and I find myself blinking in surprise, again. This time it has nothing to do with the excited freshman standing on the other side of my desk and everything to do with the hulking man staring at me with fire in his eyes. The way he’s looking at me, like he wants to devour me whole, has me squirming in my seat.
“Apostle,” I breathe out, my eyes taking him in.
Honestly, I can’t seem to help myself whenever he’s around.
I’m not even sure what it is that draws me to him. I’ve tried to figure it out since the first moment I met him and then why the way I wanted him tripled—or more—after we spent the night together. Sure, he’s an attractive man, but it’s so much more than that.
Fine; that’s a lie. He’s the hottest and sexiest man I’ve ever seen in person. He could be in a magazine and the tattoos and ‘don’t fuck with me’ vibe only makes him hotter even if to most he would be inaccessible. He should be a giant red flag with his menacing vibe, but all I see are green lights when I look at him.
There’s probably something wrong with me.
“Firefly,” he drawls as he steps into my classroom.
“Ms. C,” Colt’s worried voice has me forcing my eyes away from Apostle, “do you know this guy?”
Apostle smirks and gives Colt a chin lift. I’ve never seen Colt anything less than confident, but now he’s gone pale and looks like he’s about a second away from pissing himself. I would laugh if it were funny, but it’s not.
“I’m her man,” Apostle’s response is smooth and there’s something in his tone that leaves no room for argument.
I open my mouth to refute him, but Apostle cuts his eyes at me, and I snap it closed again. Well, okay then. It’s really not a good idea for him to be spreading around this idea that we’re together.
Not only will this get around school—because that hasn’t changed since I left high school—but it’ll make it that much harder for me to walk away and go back to my old life and home, when the time comes. And the time is coming faster and faster.
Once I get the all clear from my doctor and Devin, that’ll be the end of it. Right? It’ll be time for me to go back to my apartment and back to how things were before Apostle swooped in and took me to his place for my recovery.
My heart aches at the thought, but I don’t let it show on my face as I glare at the man who is taking far too many liberties in my workplace.
Colt looks back and forth between us and squeaks, “Really?”
