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With all the strength I could gather because I knew it was going to take all the force I had, I stopped the tip of my machete over where his heart was slowing in his chest. And then I plunged it deep.
The amount of force and the difficulty of getting through his sternum rattled my bones and left my arms feeling weak. But it was fucking worth it.
Hustle’s mouth formed a circle, surprise bleeding from his wide eyes. Then, before he could rattle out a final breath, he was gone.
Silence descended again. In that moment of silence, we were lost in our own worlds. I’m sure some of us prayed for our own souls or those of our brothers. I’m sure some of us asked for our enemies to find the same fate. I’m sure some of us begged for justice and light to find those who needed it the most.
Not me though.
I didn’t do any of those things.
In that moment of pure silence when one of this earth’s evils was banished, I conjured the image of my woman’s face in my mind. She smiled at me, gave me her blessing while also bathing me in her love.
I lived within that moment of silence.
And then I opened my eyes and breathed collectively with my brothers around me.
We shared glances, but words weren’t necessary.
The clatter of my machete against the concrete floor was the only sound, a gong of finality that brought the close to another page in our quest to protect those we love and the city that shields us. I didn’t look back as I walked out of the basement of the shed. I didn’t need to.
I knew Lucifer would have someone clean up after me which allowed me to head straight for the room I still had in the clubhouse and get cleaned up. I needed to get my head on straight if I was going to be of any use to anyone.
“Apostle,” Tara’s voice pulls me back to the present. It’s only then that I realize her hand is on my arm.
The smile on my face is forced as I shake my head. “Sorry,” the word sounds disingenuous even to me. Probably because it is.
Tara’s voice contorts in annoyance before smoothing out into something she probably thinks is sexy. It isn’t and, honestly, she looks constipated. But I probably shouldn’t say that to her.
Even though I’ve spent some time with Tara over the last few days in the hopes that I can help her, I’m not blind to how she usually just says what she thinks I want to hear. She thinks I’m stupid, but I’m aware of what she’s doing. I just don’t see the need to call her out on it. Yet.
As long as she agrees to get the help that she needs, the lies she tells me don’t matter.
“Are you going to agree to counseling? Rehab? What? You need to do something.” Her jaw clenches and I know she’s going to try and dig in her heels which causes me to change my approach. I make my voice soft and pleading, “You went through something traumatic. We want to help you, but we can’t if you aren’t willing to get help.”
“You want to help me?” Her voice is sickly sweet as she bats her eyelashes up at me.
“Of course,” the words feel like glass in my mouth, but they aren’t exactly a lie.
They aren’t exactly true either.
The kinship I felt when I first heard about her past has been fading rapidly the more time I’ve spent around Tara. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve another chance to live a good life.
She is.
What she does with that is up to her.
“You know, Apostle,” she purrs, “you’ve been so tense the last few days. I could help you with that.” Tara’s eyes sparkle, but the lifelessness I saw the night we rescued her still lives in the depths of them. “Then I could give you my answer about what I want to do.”
She squeezes my arm, which I didn’t even realize she was still touching, as I realize that the light background noise in the common room has ceased entirely.
A wave of sadness and betrayal washes over me, and my head snaps toward the double doors of the clubhouse. Sioux stands there, a Valkyrie about to lead me to the underworld because the pain and distrust in her blue eyes is sure to kill me.
I jump up and start to close the distance between us, but all she does to stop me in my tracks is hold up a single hand.
My chest cracks open and I’m not sure it will ever be mended.
CHAPTER 20
