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A small gnome sized green eyed jealousy monster rears it’s head as I take in the property cuts both women are wearing. I’ve ignored my desire to have one as well because then I would have to admit that I wanted Crosby to be mine.
With those lies crumbling around me and falling through my fingers like sand, I start to see a picture of how my future could be. It involves being on the back of Crosby’s bike, the wind cradling us, leather wrapped around me, and his patch on my back.
It’s a nice dream. One I hope can come to fruition.
“You ladies look like you’re having fun,” Cherise is all smiles. She looks at me, her eyes going soft. “I’m so glad to see you doing so much better Sioux. How has your recovery been recently?”
Whenever someone brought up the shooting unexpectedly before, it felt like a bucket of ice was being poured over me. I’m surprised when it doesn’t feel that way this time.
Maybe it’s because I know her concern is coming from a genuine place, and she has no desire to bring up the pain. Maybe it’s because I’m, finally, learning how to move on from the trauma.
Maybe it’s because I can feel Crosby’s eyes on me like a caress and I’m not shying away from the sensation for the first time.
“I’m doing so much better, Cherise, thank you.” Wrenley’s eyes go wide, clearly, she was expecting a different reaction from me. She’s not wrong—I would have shut down emotionally before. I feel stronger tonight, though, and not just physically. “I see my doctor next week and should finally sign off my full recovery. With the approval of my physical therapist, of course.”
Cherise’s eyes light up and she claps her hands together. “That’s wonderful news, cher. We’ve all be worried about you and cheering on your recovery.”
Warmth fills my chest. “I know you have. I’ve felt it and I’ve certainly needed it some days.” I shake my head but can’t help but smile. “PT has kicked my ass more than I would like to admit but knowing you all have my back has helped me more than you’ll ever know.”
Cherie’s smile turns sly as she glances toward the bar where I know Prodigal and Crosby have stationed themselves for most of the night, only leaving when they’ve brought over new drinks when needed. “Are you sure it’s us as a whole that has helped to keep you motivated? Or perhaps one biker in particular?”
My cheeks grow warm at the implication, but I also can’t find it in me to deny her words. “Maybe,” I hedge which earns a giggle from Wrenley and Cherise.
The older woman searches my eyes for a moment before giving me a knowing look. “I know that look,” she points toward my face with her words. “I’ve seen it before,” she nods toward Wrenley, “on others and myself. You’re smitten with your very own biker. I wouldn’t be surprised if the ranks of old lady grow by one very soon.”
“I,” I start, but I’m not even sure what to say. Finally, I sigh and let my insecurities and vulnerabilities show, “I’m afraid to get hurt. It’s why I’ve been trying to keep him at a distance.” I huff and roll my eyes, thinking about how stubborn he is. “Not that it’s mattered much. He’s stubborn as hell.”
Cherise nods solemnly, “These biker men might be rough around the edges and even scary to those who don’t know them, but they know what they want, and they go for it without apologies or remorse. It’s something to love about them, not fear.”
Her words settle around my heart, and I know they are true. Haven’t I thought something similar to myself before?
“When I met Scott,” my eyes widen in surprise when Cherise uses Lucifer’s name and not his road name which is the only way I’ve heard her refer to him before, “I didn’t want anything to do with him. He was gruff and stoic, but with an entitled air. I thought he was too cocky for me and wasn’t interested in getting to know him.”
Wrenley leans forward, hanging on every word. She’s not alone; I’m as enraptured by the story as she is. Her voice is eager, “What happened? How did he win you over?”
Cherise chuckles and shakes her head. “He didn’t let up or allow me to ignore him. It was strange how a man I had never met before was suddenly everywhere. But I didn’t feel threatened. When I finally agreed to go on a date with him, I found out there was so much more behind the bad boy biker persona. I had mistaken his resolve around his feelings for me as cocky entitlement. But he showed me who he really was.” She waves her hand in the air, her voice filled with love, “The rest is, as they say, history.”
“So romantic,” Wrenley sighs and I give her the side eye. She sits up a little straighter and glares at me. “What? It is.”
“You have your own romantic tale, so don’t get all gloopy,” I tease her.
“Gloopy?” She presses a hand to her chest, her indignant attitude hard to take seriously when she has a goofy smile on her lips. “Fine,” she huffs, “I was getting gloopy.”
“My point,” Cherise laughs with her words, “is that you never know what could happen if you don’t take a chance. It’s true, you might get hurt. But,” she pauses and holds my gaze, “you could also have a love that lasts a lifetime and then some.”
I sit back and take a sip from my drink, knowing she’s right and finally, maybe, ready to accept what I’ve been fighting against.
Could Crosby be more than the man who has taken care of me for months? Could he be more than the hot as hell night we spent together? Could he be my savior, and could I be his?
CHAPTER 9
APOSTLE
I haven’t been able to tear my eyes away from my woman all night. How could I when watching her is better than anything going on in the party surrounding me? She’s fucking radiant and watching her interact with her best friend has her light shining even brighter.
I’ve caught glimpses of her light since the moment I met her. That is why I gave her the nickname that I did. But those little peeks into her soul have been brief.
Not tonight. She’s glowing for the world to see.
