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The words didn’t come. They were lost in the shattering light and color behind my eyes as I fell over the edge a second time, this one even more intense. In the fog, I felt him thrust a few more times, even deeper, before freezing inside of me. I reached up, holding him there as he came, spilling into me.
He rolled onto his side, pulling me with him so I was on top of him. I couldn’t help running my hands over him, meeting his stare with a goofy smile as he ran his hand over my back in return.
11
DILLON
I woke up the next morning with an unfamiliar smell on the pillow next to me and a taste on my tongue that was new, and yet it felt like it’d always been there. Turning a little, I flipped over so that I was lying on my side, and my hand fell across a woman’s back, covered in her thick, soft hair. I touched it softly for a second before snapping my eyes open.
Macy was lying in bed next to me, and every moment of the night before came flooding back, from the taste of her on my tongue to the feel of her around me when she’d come. Twice.
This definitely hadn’t been the plan, and I didn’t let myself think too hard about how she looked, naked in the bed next to me, before I threw the covers off and got out from under the sheets. I moved as quietly as possible as I pulled on my pants, hurriedly covering up so that I could get out of the room.
As I walked to the kitchen and started the coffeepot, I heard Macy give a little mewl in her sleep as she turned over in bed, burrowing down in the sheets. The sounds reminded me intensely of the noises that she’d made last night while I’d been moving inside her.
As I stood against the counter, drinking from the hot, strong mug of coffee that I’d just poured for myself, I thought of everything that had gone on between us since she’d stumbled upon my cabin—the way I hadn’t seemed to be able to help getting under her skin with my gruff, asshole tendencies, and the way I hadn’t been able to keep her from sneaking under my own.
I looked up at the sound of dog nails clacking on the floor and saw Bucky come toward me from down the hall. He looked up at me with concern, almost as if he was questioning my behavior the night before as much as I was.
“Yeah, I know, buddy,” I said, reaching down to scratch his ears when he came over and rubbed his head along my hand. “Come on, let’s go for a walk.”
At that magic word, his ears pricked up, and he bounded forward, heading for the door ahead of me. I was amazed at how quiet he was being, since the w-word was usually enough to get him barking at a decibel high enough to scare all the birds off the mountain.
“You’re being real conscientious, aren’t you, buddy?” I asked as we walked out. He seemed to snort as we walked out the door before bounding ahead of me on the path.
Our morning walks were more than routine; they were practically religion, keeping me just as sane as they did him. He had a ton of energy and being able to expend it on the trails was good for him. It also kept me from going completely nuts, when almost every day was spent indoors with only a dog and my work for company.
Even though that was how I liked it, it still didn’t make it the easiest existence. Oftentimes the quiet started to set in like it was a solid force and made it so that the things that I worked so hard to avoid became inescapable.
As I walked, I thought over the last few days—really, the last few years—and realized that the whole situation with Macy had many more layers than I’d previously thought.
When I’d come back here from Nashville, I’d purposefully put everything into place so that I wouldn’t want or need company for years to come, if ever again. I’d had my freelance cyber security work and Bucky to give me purpose, the woods to give me serenity, and the few interactions I had with people in town for the little bit of social interaction I actually needed to keep my interpersonal skills from completely eroding. And if I ever craved the more intimate parts of human company… well, that was just tough luck. My hand and my memories would just have to be enough.
And then I’d spotted Macy at the grocery store, and the second I’d seen her, I’d felt like the bottom had dropped out of my world. Everything around me had been carefully constructed to make me feel like I wasn’t missing out on anything by cutting people out of my orbit.
But the second that I’d seen Macy that day in the market, with her shining blue eyes that just barely hid the pain she was running from, I’d hardly been able to hold back from her. My reaction to her had been primal, magnetic. Something that couldn’t be helped.
What made it even worse was that the sex had been some of the best I’d ever had. I could say that without reservation, and that knowledge was throwing me clear across the mountain.
Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t stop wondering what she would think of what had happened between us the night before. Would she have certain expectations of me now? Would she regret it? I honestly didn’t know how I felt about either of those possibilities.
Bucky and I had been walking for over an hour, and I hadn’t gotten close to the settled state of mind I’d been looking for. Even so, I figured it was time to head back.
When I came out from under the branch that shielded the cabin from view, my heart thudded painfully to see that Macy was sitting on the porch, nursing a cup of coffee and reading her book peacefully with her leg brought up underneath her.
My stomach swooped in the way that I’d started associating with her as soon as I saw her in front of me, and it dove even further when she looked up at me and smiled, the corners of her eyes creasing in that way that they did when she actually seemed happy.
The extra thump of my heart made the blood start rushing through my mind, chasing possibilities through me, and I didn’t return her smile.
“What are you doing outside?” I asked, my tone much harder than it needed to be. “Get back in the house.”
As soon as it had come, her smile vanished. “I’m still attached to the house. I haven’t moved in case you haven’t noticed.”
“You’re outside,” I said through my teeth. “Anyone could come up here and see you.”
“Isn’t the whole point of me being here that people don’t come around here? I thought that you said I’d be safe on the property.”
“I did, as long as you stay inside. I don’t understand why you can’t just do what I told you.”
