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Have I ever told you I hate the holidays? If not here is your disclaimer. Mom and Dad started to travel during my first year of college, so I end up either staying on campus like a loser or going home to an empty house.
Both options suck. Can you believe they actually went on a cruise the week of Thanksgiving? I guess they aren’t grateful for me or really don’t care what I do. Worst of all, there is no one else to spend the day of eating with. The rest of my family lives in New York, and because my parents left, they’ve shunned us. Mom’s parents didn’t approve of their marriage since Mom didn’t choose an Italian man, so they eloped, and I’ve never met my grandparents or aunts and uncles. I guess I’m better off without them. At least Mom seems to think so. Doesn’t mean I don’t spend a lot of my time wondering.
What are your thoughts on the stupid holiday where we stuff our faces with too much food and pretend we are grateful for it and the people around us?
Christmas is usually worse because growing up, it was my favorite day of the year, even better than my birthday. My favorite memories are of creeping down the stairs on Christmas Eve to check if Santa came. It sounds silly as I write it, but it’s true.
They wouldn’t let me send any food, so instead, here’s one of my favorite romances. I know it’s cliché. Try not to judge me. Dear John got me through a few rough patches growing up. One of those skeletons I’m still hiding, in case you’re wondering.
I hope you enjoy it.
Do you get a decent meal? I hear the food is pretty good in there. Hopefully, you're eating better than me. I’m thinking of ramen noodles. I wish I wasn’t alone over the holidays.
I wish you were here.
It’s crazy that I’ve only known you for a month and haven’t heard your voice or even seen you, but you’re my best friend.
I’m counting down the days until your parole hearing. Only a few more months now, and then, you’ll be stepping out of that hell and into another one, but hey you won’t be alone anymore.
Do you think it will be weird when we see each other for the first time? What will we talk about? Will you like my voice? Will I like yours?
I think about it a lot, especially at night when I can’t sleep.
Lately, you’re the only thing on my mind.
Happy Thanksgiving, East.
Your favorite pen pal,
Little Bird aka Harley Quinn
Chapter Ten
HARLEY
December 30th
Little bird,
I count down the days until I get to breathe fresh, uncontaminated air.
When my feet touch the concrete without the sound of metal clanking and my wrists are free.
I think about what it will feel like to be out of this wretched jumpsuit. How I long to wear a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.
In just a few months, you’ve reminded me that I do, in fact, have a purpose. You’ve given me something to look forward to each week and a happiness that I never thought I’d feel again.
I wish more than anything you didn’t have to be alone tonight. I long to hold you, touch your skin, smell your perfume. I hate that your family leaves you. I hate that we’re both alone and so far away from each other.
But I don’t wish to change the past. If I wasn’t here, we’d never have met, and although we still have a few more months to go, I am excited to start a new journey with you at my side.
I hate New Year’s resolutions. The whole ideology of it irritates me. Especially those people who claim to start working out as their resolution. We all know if they really wanted to work out, they would have months ago.
Growing up, my resolutions were always the same. I longed to be adopted, and every year, I swore to myself I’d be better.
I’d smile brighter for my picture, I’d behave better, I’d be the perfect kid, and someone would want me.
And each year when no one wanted me, a piece of my heart, of my soul, shattered in oblivion.
