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“As much as I enjoy our social time, I’m pretty certain you don’t need advice on a new possible hairstyle or outfit.” Chantelle gives me a sympathetic smile as our waiter places our water on the table along with our menus.
“Yeah, not exactly.”
“Beckham?”
I nod, taking a sip of the water.
“Oh boy. Maybe I should have opted for an afternoon wine.”
“I feel so confused and he does too, I think.”
“What do you mean?” she asks.
“So, as you know and mentioned, he’s not the forever type. I never told him I was looking for marriage or kids. I wasn’t positive I wanted those things either, but lately, the other night specifically, it almost felt like he wanted more with me.”
“Wow, that is not what I was expecting.”
“Right? He was asking me about if I’d told anyone about us and I told him no. I realize that you caught on but I didn’t actually tell you so I just failed to mention that you know. Anyway, he almost seemed distant and weird after I made a comment about it. His expression seemed, I dunno, disappointed maybe?”
The waiter reappears and we both order a chicken Caesar salad.
“So how did that conversation end?”
“Well, there’s more to it. I made a comment about me basically being his midlife crisis and he once again seemed agitated by that comment.”
She laughs. “I can see why a man like him wouldn’t like that comment.”
“Really? I thought for sure that’s how he saw me. As just a young piece of ass.”
She snorts, water almost coming out her nose. “You didn’t say that, did you?”
I nod. “Ummm, maybe. I told him that he contributed so much to the relationship, as a mentor, boss, friend, etc. We talked about my ideas for the trust and?—”
She holds up her hands to stop me.
“Brontë, first let me just say this. Beckham isn’t a stupid or reckless man. That’s why I came to you in the first place. The fact that he’s willing to risk his relationship with your father to be with you, tells me right away this isn’t just a hookup or ‘hot piece of ass.’ I thought you knew that when we spoke about this.”
“I—I didn’t think about it like that, no.”
“If you had stopped me and said it was simply flirting, then I wouldn’t have given you that warning, but the fact that you have known each other for a few months now and something has continued to build between you too, the man has feelings for you.”
I feel my heart flutter and I know it shouldn’t. I shouldn’t want that.
“I—” I hesitate, my eyes dropping down to where my fingers are twirling the paper wrapper from my straw around each other. “I think I have feelings for him too.”
She reaches over and touches my hand lightly.
“He said us the other night. It took me by surprise and then the way he”—I feel myself blush—“sorry if this is oversharing, but it felt like we made love. It was so different than any other time. It was like our bodies said all the things we know we shouldn’t say.” I can feel warmth spreading through my body as images of that night flood my brain.
“Has he said anything to you about telling your dad?”
I shake my head. “No, because I’ve made it clear to him that I don’t want my dad finding out and honestly, with his mixed signals, I don’t know if it’s worth it to even attempt to tell him and risk blowing everything up.”
“What mixed signals are you seeing?” she asks just as our waiter brings out our salads.
“Thank you,” we both say in unison.
