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“Thanks, Wes. Have a great night.”
“Good night, Miss James.”
I climb out of the car and rush inside my building. It’s too early to go to bed so I grab my laptop, distracting myself with work as I go over the workshop schedule this week.
The last thing I need to deal with is hurting my own feelings because I pursued someone who warned me that this would never be anything more than physical, told me I was much too young for him and emotionally unavailable, then I go and fall for him. I actually laugh out loud thinking about it… Serenity would be shaking her head right now if she knew.
* * *
I can’t keep the smile off my face as I watch Cyrus interact with these teenagers.
“I like that attitude, Lionel; that kind of belief in yourself is key to any success in life. You have what it takes, and so do you, Sharron and Elle. Each of you has potential beyond measure.” He speaks animatedly, engaging with each kid, looking them in the eyes and speaking passionately to them with belief and conviction in his voice.
My chest tightens with emotion, maybe even pride. Just in the few months that I’ve known Cyrus, it’s like he’s slowly emerging from his hard exterior, his walls slowly crumbling. He’s given me the strength to develop my backbone, encouraged me to stick to what I believe and stand up for myself, and I can’t help but feel I’m showing him that it’s okay to be vulnerable, to embrace the things that bring you joy and fulfillment.
“You guys are not only the future of Chicago, but the future of this country. Each of you bring a special gift and a priceless value that nobody can take from you. There are going to be a lot of adults that try to diminish these dreams you have, that tell you to be ‘reasonable or realistic’ with your goals, but I don’t adhere to that. I think you should set goals so high they seem impossible to attain and then go for it. That’s one of the things we want to teach you here at Chicago Youth in Leadership. We want to equip you with the tools you need to set these goals and go after them. I’ve been working on something for each of you for some time; this is something that I haven’t told anyone about, not even your sponsors here.”
What is he talking about?
He looks over at me, then over to the leadership. I look over at them as they look at me. None of us have any idea what’s coming next.
“I have established the Chicago Youth in Leadership Scholarship Fund that is giving every single one of you a full ride scholarship to any school of your choosing.”
The room goes silent. My mouth falls open. The head of the organization, Miss Loretta, suddenly bursts into tears as the kids burst into cheers.
I can’t fight back the tears this time. They run down my cheeks as I smile at Cyrus who is being rushed by dozens of kids running up to him, throwing their arms around him.
“How long have you been planning that?” Cyrus and I walk through the city since it’s an unusually warm day in Chicago. “I am still in complete shock.”
“For a while. I’ve wanted to do something for those kids for so long, apart from just donating money and helping fund programs. I wanted to make a difference in their lives, and I don’t want money to hold them back from achieving their dreams. They deserve to accomplish everything; they deserve every opportunity, and I hate that so many of them never would be given the chance all because of money.”
“I loved watching you with them. They were so engaged. You really are making a difference in their lives. It’s incredible.”
“Thank you,” he says sincerely, looking over at me, “for encouraging me to be more open.”
“I would kill for a coffee right now.” I nod toward a café up ahead.
“Well, let’s not go to those extremes.” He laughs, opening the door for me.
We grab our coffee and take a seat in the back of the almost empty café. He stares out the window, taking a sip.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Did you ever consider having kids?”
“Briefly, yes. I guess I assumed I would but, uh…” He looks down at his cup, fiddling with the lid. “I don’t think I ever felt it with someone and that was the deal I made myself. I wasn’t going to have kids just to have them. I wanted to feel like the person I was with made me desire that… if that makes sense.”
“It does.” I nod. “Very much so. That’s my thoughts on it actually. I’ve always just felt like I wouldn’t have them unless my partner and I desired it together.”
“And have you? With partners in the past?”
I almost choke on my coffee. I shake my head and grab a napkin to dab my mouth. “No, no, not at all. It was never serious between me and the two guys I dated. I mean, I guess it was a little serious. I dated one guy for eleven months, the other for about two years on and off, but settling down with them was never a thought that crossed my mind and I don’t think it was with them either; we were so young.”
“Still are—very young. You have plenty of time to meet that person and have those same desires.” His eyes look sad, and I want to joke that maybe I have met that person, but I remind myself not to even think like that for a second unless I want to set myself up for serious heartbreak.
“What about you? Any of your exes tick all the boxes and make you want to settle down?”
