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“We saw some stuff there, and it was a crazy turn-on. We were going to do stuff there but chose to come back home instead. I think he thinks I’m only doing this stuff to make him happy, and not out of genuine curiosity.”
“Are you?” she asks.
“Curious? Hell, yeah. This stuff is fascinating.”
“No, I meant are you doing it to make him happy? You’ve always been a people pleaser, Evelyn. It was your way to stand out from Shana. Make sure you’re choosing him because you want him, because you love him, because you want to be with him. Don’t just be the good little girl who does what she’s told. Or not. Hell, it’s not like this was a forever thing anyway, right?”
“You’re right, Nita, it wasn’t supposed to be forever, and he promised to divorce me or get this thing annulled when everything settled down.”
“Is that what you want?” she asks.
Before I can say anything, I swear I hear footsteps, but the shower’s still running. My eyes dart to the bathroom door, but I think the steam is messing with my head. However, when I hear the shower turn off, I know I need to talk to Alessandro.
“Nita, I have to go.”
23
ALESSANDRO
Divorce.
Annulment.
The words coming from Evelyn as I make my way to apologize to her are heartbreaking. My mind is reeling. Even though I just got out of the shower, I pull out another pair of boxing trunks to spar against my imaginary enemies.
One blow comes after the other. The pounding drowns everything out as I hit the bag over and over again. It pushes my mind into that dark corner where I hate to be but can never leave behind.
18 Years Ago ...
There’s a chill in the autumn air as I leave the army recruitment office near Coney Island. Salt taints the smell of the breeze coming off the beach water, and I’m pissed the recruiter couldn’t tell me where my friend Lorenzo went to bootcamp. Pop’s in a foul mood, and I don’t want to be anywhere near him when he’s missing Mom.
Even the guys working for him head in the other direction. He’s liable to do something stupid. So, I take the long way home from Brooklyn to Queens. The minute I step through the door, he’s waiting for me. I don’t know what to expect, but there’s a bag by the door. I’m not sure if it’s for him or me.
“You’re going to stay with your Zio, Alessandro.”
“I got school,” I tell him. “It’s going to be a fucking nightmare getting on the ferry every morning to come all the way back up here. Pop, that’s nuts. I’m not going.”
“You’ll do what I fucking tell you to do. Now, grab your shit and go. Call me when you get there.”
“Here?”
“Yeah, leave a message if I don’t pick up. I got some shit I have to handle for some people. I’m heading to Chicago and then to Sicily. I don’t know how long I’m leaving, but as soon as I get back, I’ll come get you.”
“Yeah, whatever.” I shake my head and poke around the duffel bag. “Zio’s place is so fucking small, and his couch is shit.”
“Watch your mouth. You wouldn’t curse in front of your mother like that.”
“Well, she’s not here.”
There’s no time to take it back before his hand comes across my face, slapping me to the ground.
“Don’t you ever disrespect my wife like that. Dead or not, she’s still your mother. You hear me?” His anger is coated in tears as he quickly realizes what he’s doing and bends down to get me to my feet. He pulls me in tight, hugging me like he’s never going to see me again. “I’m sorry, Alessandro. I’m sorry, um, here.”
My face is throbbing as he hands me damn near a thousand dollars. When I don’t take it, he shoves it in my pocket and picks up the duffle bag.
“Listen, I’m sorry. I’m going through a lot. I just need some time to work this shit out. Alessandro. I promise I’m coming back for you.”
“Whatever. I’ll see you around, Pop.”
