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Her mother’s sweet singsong voice fluttered in from the past. Live freely, stand strong, be you no matter what, because life is startlingly short, and that, my darling child, is the best advice I can give you ….
She couldn’t help but smile at the recollection of words she’d long ago forgotten, as a tiny flutter in her soul gave rise to goosebumps. Having always been on the move, she’d finally found the courage to stop, and she liked the sensation of it, a heck of a lot. She could hear herself think. She could take a decent breath, filled with the invigorating scents of the countryside. She could be herself, at any given moment. It almost felt as if she could start over here. Like there was a new story building inside her, just waiting to be told. If she sold her business, she could …
‘Hey, you, what you are doing out here?’ Shea padded towards her.
‘I’m not doing much at all, and I love it.’
Sliding an arm around her, Shea rested her head against Samantha’s shoulder. ‘Do you want to know what I think?’
‘If I said no, you’d tell me anyways.’
‘Ha, you know me well, my darling friend,’ she said. ‘I think you need to learn how to dream again, Sammie.’
Speechless, Samantha drew in a breath and nodded.
‘I’m here to help you remember that spirited young woman you were before you left.’
‘I know you are, and thank you for that, Shea.’ She sighed softly. ‘I love you heaps.’
‘I love you too, Sammie.’ Shea kissed her cheek. ‘You may not be blood, but you are my sis, always have been, and forever will be.’
There was so much love in that shared moment, so much kindness, so much tenderness, from the only woman walking this earth that loved her unconditionally, that Samantha almost burst into tears.
CHAPTER
16
Connor shifted up gears and tilted the brim of his hat to ward off the blinding sunshine pouring through his dusty windscreen while Johnny Cash crooned from the speakers. Tapping the steering wheel in time to the fun tune, he sang the lyrics to ‘A Boy Named Sue’ out loud. With his forearm resting on the open window, and the balmy breeze whipping his shaggy hair around his face, he was doing everything he could to keep his focus on the here and now. But it was proving a feat when his illusory thoughts had been at odds with reality all damn day. Having woken with the image of Samantha Evans in his heart ever since she’d been back on home soil, he’d used the humdrum jobs of each day to try and push his yearning for her to the back of his mind, but now, with night closing in, and nothing significant to keep his mind busy, all he could think of was her.
Once again.
It had been another long day spent thinking about what could have been with Samantha if she hadn’t run for the hills all those years ago. He’d only come to the conclusion that regrets were futile and hindsight was doing him no favours. He’d then got to thinking about where they both were now, and the fact that even if she was here to stay, that he didn’t stand a hope in hell with her, not when he couldn’t give her the family she so wanted. The family she deserved to have. The family she needed to have, given the fact that she’d so cruelly lost her own. Add in the detail that he was still keeping the secret that had weighed him down for almost half his life from her, and they’d be doomed right from the start. And yet, in the grand scheme of things, all of this didn’t change the fact that they were good friends, and he cared about her, one heck of a lot. There was no way in hell he was going to let his feelings get in the way of their friendship a second time round. Or was he just trying to fool himself into believing he had control over what was endlessly deep love for her?
By the time he turned onto the highway, the sinking sun had finally met with the horizon, sending pink and purple shooting across the blue. It was a mesmerising sight that held him captive as he wound his window up and cranked the air-conditioning. Unwittingly inching over the speed limit, he cursed out loud when he saw the flash of blue and caught sight of a police car coming up his rear. Slowing, he pulled to the side of the road. The copper drew in behind him. Money was tight enough, the last thing he needed was a speeding fine.
He pushed the button to wind his window back down. ‘Howdy, Officer Lund.’
Carl Lund gripped the windowsill. ‘You in a rush to get somewhere, Gunn?’
‘No, not at all.’ He met the copper’s eye, hoping for him to see honesty written in his. ‘I’m really sorry, it was a lapse of my senses.’
‘I see.’ He nodded, sucked in a slow measured breath as if weighing up what to do next. ‘Seeing as your mum’s a good friend, as was your dad, I’ll let you off this time, but slow down buddy, okay.’
‘Thanks, I will, you can take my word for it.’
The officer slapped his windowsill. ‘I am, so don’t let me down.’
‘Righto, I won’t, thanks again.’ He made sure to pull out sensibly.
As he passed over the rickety old bridge, the bitumen of the highway once again hummed beneath the four-wheel drive’s tyres as he eventually slowed to take a corner. He was glad to be making his way over to Jack and Shea’s for their last catch-up dinner before the big day; not only would he get to hang out with his best mate, it also meant he could lay his eyes on Samantha again. After keeping his love for her at bay all these years, he was shocked by the intensity of his feelings for her now she was back. In just twelve days, she’d climbed beneath his skin, into his bones, and deep into every dark crevice of his heart and soul, igniting the blackness he’d thought he’d have to just get used to with her infectious light. She made him feel alive, made him want to live more than ever, made him him. The woman she’d become mesmerised him beyond anything he’d ever imagined possible.
In just over a week’s time, he was about to lose her a second time round.
It was the story of his life, with fate being one cruel bastard all over again.
He wished he could persuade her to stay a little longer. So he had more precious time to help her see the love they shared for one another was eternal. If only she could let go of her life back in London, something deep inside of him knew she’d be much happier here. He innately knew it was selfish of him to want her when he couldn’t give her what she so deeply desired, what she essentially required, and he was struggling with the torturous guilt his secret brought him, but there was also this uncontrollable urge to make her his, so he could wake up every single day to her sunshiny face. So he could love her like she’d never been loved before.
Two hours later, having been kicked out so Shea and Jack could clean up the kitchen, sitting on the top step of the back verandah with his third, and last, light beer in hand, Connor couldn’t ignore how quiet Samantha had been all the way through dinner, and dessert, any longer. ‘I don’t mean to barrel into those thoughts you seem deep within, but are you okay?’
