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‘The good is I do love having everything at my fingertips, like my favourite cafés and restaurants, and endless clothing stores to choose from – oh, and the food markets, you’d seriously love them, seeing as you’re such a great cook.’ Her smile reached inside him, enticing his own smile wider. Then she frowned and tipped her head a little to the side. ‘And then the bad is that I’ll miss you and Shea and Jack and Amaya so much, and I have so much to sort out with Benjamin when I get back, too. He’s already settled into his new life with his new partner, in what used to be our home, while I’m in the apartment until we finally agree on who gets what.’
‘Geez, it didn’t take him long to get back into a relationship.’
‘Ha, yeah, well, unbeknown to me at the time, he was already in a relationship with this certain person before we broke up, and they were having sex in our marital bed for years.’
‘Far out, he cheated on you with another woman in your house, in your bed, for years?’ A weight settled in his chest. ‘What a rotten son of a bitch.’
‘A lying son of a bitch.’ She shook her head. ‘I can’t stand people who condone lying, it’s the lowest of the low, in my opinion, to deceive a person you’re meant to love.’ She breathed a wry laugh. ‘And to top it all off, it wasn’t with a woman.’
He tried to comprehend. ‘What do you mean?’ His eyes widened as he watched her press her lips together. ‘Oh, damn, okay, now I get it.’
Her nod was exaggerated. ‘Uh-huh.’
‘Wow, he likes men, too.’
‘Uh-huh.’ She blinked faster, as though she was trying to keep tears at bay. ‘Actually, FYI, he only likes men.’ She prodded her chest. ‘I was the guinea pig he used to figure out if he could be in a heterosexual relationship, which clearly he couldn’t be.’ She held her hands up in an exaggerated shrug. ‘So here I am, almost thirty, childless and about to get divorced. What a shitshow.’
‘I’m really sorry, Sammie, you don’t deserve to be treated like this.’ The hurt in her eyes spoke loudly of the heartbreak she had been through, and was still harbouring. If he could take it from her, and carry the pain of it, he would, in a heartbeat. ‘And FYI, if you were mine, I’d treat you like the one in a bazillion kind of woman you are.’ Hopefully, that helped her a little.
Samantha took a long moment to reply, all the while staring at him with an unreadable look on her pretty face. ‘I know you would, Connor, because you’re one of the rare, good ones left in this world full of selfish heartbreakers.’
He couldn’t help the sense of pride that filled him. ‘You really think so?’
She placed her hand on his. ‘I know so.’
He offered her an appreciative smile. ‘I wish there was something I could do to help you feel better about it all. But just know I’m here for you, anytime, okay.’
‘Thanks, Connor, but it’s my mess, and I’ll clean it up.’ She shrugged, but her shoulders didn’t relax back into position. ‘I’ll be right in the end, I always am.’ She sighed. ‘Thanks for being such a great mate.’
Mate? He didn’t want to be her mate. He wanted to be her boyfriend, her fiancé, her husband, all in quick succession, because he knew his feelings about her were forever. But he could never be the father of her children, and that was a massive boulder in their path, in their way of a happily ever after. She wanted children desperately, and he could never give her that. The reality of his shortfalls, in this poignant moment, hit him hard. As did the fact he was keeping something from her that he should have told her eleven years ago. A secret she might never be able to forgive him for. His thoughts were pulled back to that night eleven years ago, to the call he’d made that had changed everything. If only her father hadn’t picked up the phone, maybe, possibly, Sammie’s parents would still be alive, to love her, to share life with her.
‘You okay, Connor?’
‘Yeah, sorry, just tired after a big day.’
‘Of course, you need to get some sleep.’ She stood before he could tell her he would rather sit here all night long in her company.
‘That wasn’t me telling you to bugger off, you know,’ he said lightheartedly, as he came to his bare feet.
‘I know, but I should be getting back anyway.’
Holding her arm loosely, he walked across the verandah, down the steps and over to her hire car. ‘Let me know that you got home safe, won’t you?’
‘I’m only just down the road.’
He tapped her windowsill. ‘Doesn’t matter.’
‘Okay, will do. Night.’ Her smile was honeyed, and at the same time oh so sexy.
‘Night Sammie.’ He stepped back so she could turn the car around. ‘Dream sweet.’
‘Thanks, I’ll try to, you too.’
Oh, trust me if it’s anything like the last couple of nights, I will.
‘Yup, I’ll try to,’ he called back.
He waved her off, then waited until her taillights disappeared – just in case she might do what he longed for her to do, and turn around – before heading inside and to his bed, where he spent almost an hour tossing and turning before drifting into dreamland and meeting her there.
