It took away from the joy she should be feeling that day, and it seemed like a dream—or rather a nightmare—that she was sitting beside the reason her dream had died.
No. That wasn’t fair.
She could have gone on to marry someone else. It had been true that dating as a single parent was challenging, but she could have persevered. She just hadn’t been interested in putting in the effort to find someone who was willing to take on the responsibility for a single mom.
When she saw Hudson’s dad and his wife come down the aisle and settle on the front row, Charli realized she’d gotten caught up in her thoughts. She needed to stay in the moment instead of drifting into the past and allowing its negative emotions to cloud the specialness of that day.
Hudson and the pastor stepped out onto the stage, Hudson looking very handsome in his charcoal gray tuxedo with a vest. More than once, Kayleigh had commented that the man was born to wear a suit, and it had never been more evident than right then as he waited for his bride. He looked at ease as his gaze remained on the back of the sanctuary.
Turning a bit, Charli looked back and saw Gareth walking their mom down the aisle. She was beaming, but Charli could see the emotion on her face. It probably wouldn’t take much to push her over into tears.
Once her mom was at her seat, Gareth stepped up onto the stage, taking his place beside Hudson and the pastor. He was in a charcoal gray suit as well, with a burgundy tie that matched the one that Hudson wore.
Next came Hudson’s step-siblings, Xander and Sabrina, then Layla appeared with Hudson’s other brother, Jayden. The pair were close in age, but Jayden was taller than Layla. He didn’t look as thrilled as Layla did about walking down the aisle. But he still escorted her like a gentleman.
“Oh boy,” Charli muttered when she saw Layla glance up at Jayden, her smile making her face glow.
Blake turned to her. “What’s wrong?”
Without thinking, she said, “Layla is too young to be giving boys smiles like that.”
As soon as she spoke, Charli held her breath, hoping Blake wouldn’t ask her how old Layla actually was. That was a question she never wanted him to ask, because she had no intention of answering it.
Blake chuckled softly. “It’s worse if the boy smiles back.”
She wasn’t sure if that was true. Maybe in the moment, but Charli knew the pain of smiling at boys, and having them ignore her. She hoped that wasn’t what Layla would experience in the years to come, because that hurt, too.
Once Layla and Jayden had reached the front, they separated, each going to sit on opposite sides of the front pews. Since the kids would probably get antsy during the ceremony, only the older teen and adult members of the wedding party were on the stage.
Next came Janessa, followed by Peyton and Ciara. Peyton helped Ciara carefully toss the rose petals onto the aisle for Kayleigh to walk on. The pair looked adorable, and she heard many chuckles from the wedding guests.
Her gaze dropped to Amelia, who was twisted in her seat, watching the pair walk past her. She’d clutched her hands under her chin, a gesture Charli had seen her do frequently when she was really drawn to something.
Blake reached out and rested his hand on her back, and Charli wondered what he was thinking. She was glad Amelia had a dad who so clearly loved her and cared about her wellbeing.
With an ache that was starting to feel all too familiar, Charli looked over to where Layla sat next to Peyton on the front row with Charli’s mom, Jay, and Misha. Would he be that way with Layla? If he knew?
Layla glanced over her shoulder and smiled at Charli, her happiness helping to ease some of the ache in Charli’s heart. Layla might not have a dad, but she was still happy in the life they had together.
When the music changed and everyone around her got to their feet, Charli stood as well. Since she already knew what Kayleigh looked like, she watched Hudson instead.
Charli didn’t need to be told when Hudson spotted his bride because his expression changed. His smile grew, and his love for Kayleigh was clear for all to see.
Charli had to swallow hard and blink rapidly to keep her emotions at bay. On that day, her sister would gain everything Charli had ever wanted. But instead of the jealousy she’d usually felt toward Kayleigh, all Charli felt was a deep sadness. Like her heart was weeping for her lost dream.
But regardless of her feelings, she needed to focus on the joy of the moment. Later that night, she could sort through all the emotions that the events of that day had dredged up inside her.
Unfortunately, Charli knew that the rollercoaster of emotions from that day weren’t over yet.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Blake couldn’t remember the last time he’d been at a wedding. Certainly not since he’d joined the army.
Before that, he’d attended a few, back when he’d still been part of his family. Those had been extravagant affairs, with hundreds of guests in attendance, in cathedral style churches. Churches that most the guests had probably never attended regularly the way Kayleigh and Hudson attended this one.
From the moment the pastor welcomed them, Blake could see that this wedding was going to be different in another way, too. Since Hudson and Kayleigh attended the church, the pastor knew them, and everything he said contained bits of that knowledge, making the ceremony that much more personal and meaningful.
Is this what their wedding would have been like if he and Charli had gotten married in Serenity?