Charli’s expression showed that his revelation had impacted her, which really didn’t surprise him. She’d always had a love for children that would make it difficult for her to hear about a child being hurt in any way.
“I knew then that I had to make her my priority,” Blake said, recalling how, in the end, the decision to leave the army and Texas had felt like the right one. “But I also knew that I couldn’t raise Amelia on my own. So I contacted Aunt Julia, and she said to come to Serenity.”
“You didn’t consider going back to California?”
“Not even for a moment. I needed support, and I definitely wouldn’t get that in California.”
“Even your mom wouldn’t help you?”
Blake shrugged. “She agreed with my dad’s decision to disown me when I went there twelve years ago. I’ve never told her or any of my family about Amelia. My dad would not be impressed.”
“It’s weird how different your aunt is from your mom.”
“Tell me about it,” Blake said with a grimace. “I’m very grateful for that, though, because Julia and Robert have been a huge help to me and Amelia.”
“Amelia has certainly blossomed in the past several weeks,” Charli said. “So being here seems to have really benefitted her.”
“I think so too. I’m thankful to everyone who has welcomed her, especially you and your family. You could have kept Layla from becoming friends with her, but I’m so glad you didn’t.”
“I never would have done that,” Charli said. “You should know that.”
“After how things ended for us, I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about me and my daughter coming back into your life.”
“It has been… weird,” Charli admitted.
Blake was sure it had been more than weird, but he appreciated her not making it sound worse.
“If I didn’t feel so strongly that Amelia needed what Serenity offered, I never would have crashed into your life again.”
Charli stared at him for a moment before she focused on her meal. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. It made it sound like he hadn’t actually wanted to see her, which hadn’t been the case at all. But the truth was that if it hadn’t been for Amelia, he might not have had the courage to return and face Charli again.
“Not that I didn’t want to come back here and see you,” he tried to clarify. “But after what I’d done, I figured you wouldn’t want me around.”
Charli lifted her gaze to his. “You would have been correct.”
Though her words hurt, he definitely deserved them. “I am sorry for how my coming back has impacted you.”
“It was difficult at first,” she said, dropping her gaze to her plate. “But it’s gotten easier.”
Blake should have been glad to hear that, but he feared it was because she just didn’t care. But what he felt didn’t matter. He’d messed with her life twelve years ago, and if she needed to not care about him in order for her to be able to deal with him coming back, that was… fine.
“If you’d prefer me not to come around as much, just say the word. But even though I don’t have the right, I would love it if you’d still let Amelia hang around Layla and Peyton.”
“I’m not going to tell you to stop coming around. For one thing, that would raise suspicions in my family. Second, like I said, it’s gotten… easier.”
“And then your siblings finagled this situation.”
Charli shrugged. “It’s been okay.”
Suddenly, a ton of words pressed against his tongue. All the things that he wanted to tell her. That he hadn’t been able to say to her in so many years.
But she’d just said that it was getting easier to be around him. Did he want to ruin that by telling her that he wished he could have a second chance?
“I want to tell you again how sorry I am for what I did. I’ve regretted it countless times, and I really wish I’d handled things differently.” He hesitated, then said, “But I can’t focus on what I would have done differently because now I have Amelia and you have Layla. I wouldn’t wish them away.”
“I wouldn’t either,” Charli said. “I wasn’t happy at the time. But finishing college, getting a new job, along with having Layla, all helped me move forward.”
Again, he wanted to ask about Layla’s father. However, it seemed like a subject she wasn’t keen to discuss with him, aside from telling him that he wasn’t her father. But maybe now that she’d heard about Amelia’s mom, she’d be more forthcoming.