Looking back, Blake could see that even though he’d been twenty-two at the time, he had been somewhat naïve and, yes, spoiled. His dad had provided everything for him, and he’d mistakenly assumed it was because he loved him and wanted him to be happy as he pursued his dreams.
What that meant, however, was that he’d been very dependent on his dad and had no idea what it was like to have to work hard for what he wanted without a safety net in place. That was when his fear of failing Charli had taken over, robbing him of common sense.
So, without the training he needed or any job prospects, he’d somehow decided that the army recruiter who’d come to his high school years earlier had presented him with an option that he could seriously consider. He’d made the snap decision to join the army, and, in the process, he’d run away from everything.
It had been impulsive and a stupid move, catering more to his fear and pride than anything else, but once that commitment was made, there was no turning back. He’d grabbed onto the idea that he could get the training he wanted, along with a guaranteed salary, and hadn’t looked back.
If he’d faced that situation now, things would have turned out much, much differently.
Though his decision had broken his heart, he’d felt it was for the best for Charli. He’d thought he’d freed her to find the man who would help her realize her dreams and spared her from dealing with the failure he’d felt he was back then.
“Being in the army helped me acquire the skills I needed to do what I really wanted,” Blake said, remembering how convincing the recruiter had been about that in their first conversation, offering him everything he’d felt like he’d just lost. A job. An income. A home. A future.
“I never considered there were mechanics in the army, but I suppose it makes sense.”
Blake nodded. “I was responsible for keeping the wheeled vehicles in good running order.”
“And you were deployed?”
“Not the whole time, but for quite a bit of it.”
“Where’s Amelia’s mom?” Jackson asked.
Blake’s gaze went to the closed door of Amelia’s room. He’d put her to bed a short time ago, but there was no guarantee she was already asleep. She knew that her mom was no longer around, but not the gritty details that had led to her death.
“She passed away.” Though their relationship hadn’t lasted long, it still hurt to think about what had happened.
“Oh.” Jackson frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
Blake had no idea how to respond to that. He had been deployed when it happened, and because she hadn’t been his wife or even his girlfriend, he hadn’t qualified for leave to attend her funeral. Thankfully, Lauren’s sister had stepped in to take care of Amelia until he could get back Stateside.
“Do you mind me asking what happened?”
He looked at the closed door again. “She was killed in a car accident.”
The surprise on Jackson’s face wasn’t unexpected. Blake thought he’d probably ask a bunch more questions, but apparently, he’d picked up on Blake’s reluctance to talk about it.
“Sorry… yeah, sorry to hear about that, too.”
Blake took another swallow of his soda, then wrapped both hands around the can as he leaned back into the couch. “Do you still hang out with the Halversons?”
Jackson looked relieved at the change of subject as he nodded. “Yep. Was just with a bunch of them last night for dinner.”
“How’re they doing?” Blake was most interested in one person, but he didn’t mind hearing about them all.
“Good. Gareth is married and has a kid. Janessa is married to Gareth’s best friend, Will. Kayleigh is engaged to some guy she works with. Jay is also married with two kids.”
Blake told himself it was a bad idea to ask for more specific information, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. “How’s Charli?”
“She’s fine.” Jackson stared at him for a long moment. “Why do you ask?”
Figuring there would be no harm in disclosing what had happened so many years ago, or maybe just assuming that Jackson wouldn’t answer his question in more detail if he didn’t give him a reason to, Blake said, “She and I had a bit of a… thing when I was last here.”
Jackson’s eyes narrowed. “A bit of a thing? What does that mean, exactly?”
“We got… close.”
“Like, physically close? Or just spending time together?”