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Charli didn’t move from her seat. “I think not.”
“You don’t even have watching Ciara as an excuse this afternoon, since Denise is keeping an eye on her,” Jay said.
“I don’t need an excuse,” Charli told him, completely unphased by her siblings’ ribbing.
“Just get on with it,” Kayleigh told them. “You’re not going to be able to convince either of us to play.”
“One of these days…” Jay said as he caught the ball Peyton tossed him. “Let’s play.”
Blake was on Jay’s team that time, along with Misha, and they were a bit more aggressive in their playing. Jackson, Will, Hudson, and Janessa were on the other team. It was a fun game, and when victory was theirs, Blake high-fived Jay and Misha.
That seemed to be the last game, since after chatting for a bit, Hudson and Kayleigh said goodbye and headed off for a walk. Jackson, Janessa, and Will also said goodbye before they piled into their cars and left.
Misha and Jay were a little slower as they gathered up their stuff, and Blake picked up the two lawn chairs and freezer bag, carrying them over to Charli’s car. The girls were still playing with the hula hoops, though Jay had told Peyton to get in the car.
“See you guys around,” Jay called out once they were ready to go. He and Misha got into the vehicle, then they pulled away from the curb.
Charli opened the hatch of her car so he could put the things inside. Once his hands were free, he shoved them into the pockets of his jeans.
“It’s been good seeing you again,” he said, needing to see if there was some way they could get past the awkwardness.
The look Charli gave him went from incredulous to angry. “How is that possible?”
“What?”
“How is it possible that it’s good to see me again?” she demanded, her dark eyes flashing. “You couldn’t wait to see the last of me twelve years ago.”
“That’s not how I felt back then.” Blake knew he deserved her anger, but he was just hoping that they could at least talk about the situation.
“You seemed more than happy to end things,” she reminded him, her voice sharp with anger. “And you did it by text, without any explanation. Not to mention that you also changed your number. How was I supposed to think that you weren’t happy to just walk away?”
“I felt like I had no choice,” Blake said. “Things changed when I got back to California.”
“And I didn’t deserve a conversation about that? I didn’t deserve an explanation?”
Blake’s heart ached at the hurt that edged the anger of her words. “You did. You absolutely did. I was just…” He lowered his gaze to the ground. “Scared. And I guess I was upset that I couldn’t do what I promised I’d do for you… for us.”
“Why couldn’t you? What happened?”
Now that she was giving him this opportunity, Blake felt a little sick at the idea of revealing why he’d made such bad decisions. “When I got home, I told my dad I didn’t want to work for the furniture company. That I wanted to become a mechanic and open my own garage one day. He was livid and said he’d never support that. That meant he wouldn’t give me the money for any training I might need, and on top of all that, he stopped my monthly allowance.”
“So why didn’t you just come back to Serenity?” Charli said. “We could have made it work, even without your dad’s help.”
Looking back now, he could see that there might have been other paths. Even back then, he had tried to look for options. However, he’d quickly realized that the training he needed would cost him money he didn’t have. He’d also had no income to tide him over.
Every promise he’d made to Charli had felt like a crushing weight, and he hadn’t known how to achieve his own dreams, let alone help her reach hers. Which meant he might stand in the way of her being able to accomplish what she wanted in life. It felt like he’d be disappointing Charli before they’d even managed to take their relationship public.
“I didn’t feel like that was possible.”
Blake ran a hand through his hair. It was so hard to find the words to explain his mindset back then. Twelve years of maturity gave him a completely different outlook on the situation.
“I would do things differently now.” He met her gaze. “But back then, I had a real sense of hopelessness. Joining the army gave me the opportunity to support myself and to get the training I needed without me having to pay for it.”
“The only cost was our relationship and the dreams we had,” Charli said bitterly.
“I’m sorry, Charli,” Blake told her, relieved to finally be able to say those words to her. “I’m sorry for hurting you the way I did. I was wrong, and I made some horrible decisions.”
She stared at him, emotion brimming in her eyes. Silence stretched between them, and Blake realized the acceptance of his apology that he wanted might not be coming.
