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“Can I have a muffin?” She rested her head on my shoulder, and I leaned against the counter for support.
“After dinner, sweet girl.” I glanced at the pasta boiling on the stove. It was such a crappy dinner to be making my entire family, but I was exhausted. I could barely stand, and this was easy. The sauce was premade – just needed to be heated up, and the pasta was already almost done.
Celine had promised me that it was better than cereal, which was our original plan until the men came back home with the kids, pasta in tow, and sparklers for later.
Ryan came into the kitchen next and inspected the muffins before stirring the pasta. “They look good, Ames.” I smiled. He had been trying his hardest to support me. Lord knew just how hard it had been for him.
Between him and Ace, they had tried just about everything I made and helped me perfect some recipes while completely throwing out others.
“Thank you.” He smiled tenderly at me and closed the distance between us. He slid his arm underneath Kennedy, and she instantly turned and latched onto him, dropping her head to his chest with a yawn.
I looked over his shoulder and saw the green numbers illuminated on the stove clock. It was after her bedtime, and she still hadn’t had dinner.
I had neglected my duties as a mother. A pang of worry rushed through me, and I moved to take a step forward, but Ryan blocked me, keeping me against the counter, his blue eyes trained on mine.
“Relax. It’s New Year’s Eve, baby. No need to worry about bedtimes and eating at the right time. You are doing the best you can.”
Celine suddenly huffed in irritation. “I can’t wait any longer. I’m trying one.” She picked one of the muffins up and pulled the wrapper off the bottom. She brought it up to her mouth and sank her teeth into it.
Then, she moaned.
“These are so,” she mumbled around a huge bite, “freaking good!” There was chocolate on her lips, and Kennedy giggled.
“I want a bite!”
Relief plowed through me like a bulldozer.
I had gotten the recipe right.
I hadn’t failed my family.
I wanted to cry from the sheer joy of it all.
* * *
The kids were dancing around outside, sparklers in their hands as they screamed and laughed with pure, utter childish delight.
Ace was holding Celine between his legs as they watched the fireworks lighting up the night sky. I was sitting between Ryan’s legs, all of us sitting on the back of Ace’s tailgate with soft, country music playing from the cab.
There was a gust of wind blowing through the chilly, night air, and I snuggled into Ryan’s chest. His lips were at the shell of my ear, placing the softest kiss there. “I love you,” he whispered, his arms – like bands of steel – tightening around me, pulling me impossibly closer.
“I love you so much.” I was watching our five kids skip and dance around the garden, their laughter warming my heart.
I never thought we would get this.
I never thought that I would be sitting here with him watching one – let alone five – beautiful kids.
“Did you ever think we would make it to this?” I strained my neck to look up at him. He blinked slowly and swallowed, his cheeks and nose pink from the cold night.
“Never.” His voice was thick with emotion, and I swallowed past that lump that had been threatening me all day.
“Me either. Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Staying with me, fighting for us, proving to me you are the only one.” He kissed the top of my head.
“If you ever thought that I was going to let you go, then you sure are a silly girl. You are the only one for me, Amber.”
