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8
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Celine
Christmas had always been my favorite time of the year. I truly believed nothing could go wrong. It just felt like the world was one big, happy, Hallmark movie for the month of December. But this December had proved me wrong when four weeks before Christmas, my dad announced to the family that he would be selling our company to the highest bidder since we were bankrupt. Our legacy would be gone.
I wasn’t a naïve teenager anymore with my head in the clouds, but this news startled me. While I had thought the crazy Christmas shoppers were the worst part of Christmas – as they were a breed of their own, mostly because I hated their impatience and lack of humanity – they weren’t the grinch that stole Christmas, at least not this year.
Reality had come crashing down and reminded me that I wasn’t a little girl anymore, that now I would have to use the degree I studied all those years for and find a new career for my family.
Our three kids reminded me constantly just how old I was, especially on the days when I was so tired that it felt like match sticks were the only thing keeping my eyes open, but I didn’t have any regrets. My children were my life.
Their excitement for winter break wasn’t easy on either me or Ace. They constantly fought, especially the two youngest ones. Most nights, I wondered why I wanted a third baby when all I could hear was their constant bickering over something stupid like a hairbrush, but then, I looked at my littlest boy, and my heart absolutely melted because my life – my little family – would be incomplete without her.
The last few weeks had been hard on all of us, but right now, sitting in the lounge, looking at our big, rainbow-colored Christmas tree, I felt as though I could finally take a breath. The kids were sitting and writing letters to Santa while my darling Ace wrapped the last few presents so I could rest my feet after spending the day baking for tomorrow.
I closed my eyes and let myself remember our first Christmas together all those years ago – fifteen years, to be exact. If I focused hard enough in my mind, I almost felt like I was back there in the house that I grew up in. We were laying in front of my mother’s twelve-foot, all-white, Christmas tree. I had waited for this moment with Ace for so long – to spend Christmas with him – and finally, after knowing the man for two years, I got my wish.
The sun was still rising when we snuck down the stairs to spend a quiet moment together. He laid there, his blue eyes swollen from lack of sleep. He had received news the night before that his gran was unwell. My fingers grazed his features, stroking his strong jawline. His eyes were closed, his long lashes brushing his cheekbones. I realized I had never been so in love with someone before at that moment.
Ace had been afraid to close his eyes in fear of missing out on a phone call from his mother, so he stayed up the whole night waiting. Lying in front of the tree, I just wanted to take his mind away from that dark place, so we started to plan our future together: two kids – a boy and a girl – a big house near the ocean with a blue picket fence around it – the same color as the sea on a clear day. We would have a dog that we would fight over at night to sit with on the couch. Christmases would be spent together with our little family. I would bake cookies on Christmas morning, and he would make pancakes and hot chocolate for our kids.
I opened my eyes and looked around me. We had come so far since that silly daydream. We were living our dream – minus the dog, even though the kids begged daily. Now wasn’t the right time to get a demanding puppy.
Despite always believing that nothing could go wrong in December, I was horribly wrong this year. Thinking about it now caused a lump to form in my throat. I had been working for my parents since I was sixteen years old with the dream of running the company with my brother, Ryan, one day. Now, all of that was gone.
I shouldn’t have been so selfish and put my needs before the company. I often wondered if I hadn’t taken so much time off if things would be different.
I blinked away the tears as Jessie ran up to me, red frosting all over his freckled cheeks, his short, brown hair a messy disarray. “Mommy!” he squealed right before he threw himself onto my lap.
His sudden weight knocked the breath out of me, but I quickly wrapped my arms around my little boy, holding his tiny body to my chest. He was growing up so quickly. To think that he had just turned four blew my mind.
“Yes, my angel?” I held his chubby cheeks in my hands and couldn’t help but smile at his excited expression.
“When is Santa coming?” His innocent question reminded me that it was way past his bedtime, that his daddy and I had some serious work to do.
“Soon, little one. Get Summer to help you wash your face and get into bed. If you aren’t sleeping soon, he won’t come!” His blue eyes – the same shade as his handsome dad – widened, and he darted off my lap.
“Summy, Summy! We need to go to bed!” he hollered, running through the house to find his big sister who had been on the phone with her cousin Madison just about the entire day. The two were inseparable, and even though their relationship was sweet, at times, it became frustrating.
Summer was the first teenager in the family. She had changed from my sweet, little girl into a terror overnight. She was always glued to the old phone her grandma gave her last Christmas. I hardly recognized my own child at times. She spoke in riddles, with new code words since I had been in school, and God forbid I brought up the word Santa.
She honestly thought her own shit didn’t stink.
Ace and I had blamed each other for her behavior at first. We had spoiled her for years, given her everything her heart desired, and now that we could no longer do that, her tiny body was filled with so much anger, words of hatred always spewing from her mouth. I was hoping this Christmas would change all that with fewer presents under the tree, no extravagant holiday skiing in the mountains. Maybe she would become my sweet little girl again, but only time would tell.
I picked up my forgotten wine glass on the table next to me and brought the thin glass to my lips, swallowing the last sip before getting up with a sigh and heading for the kitchen. I checked the tart that I spent all afternoon making one last time before turning the lights off in the kitchen. I went into the attached dining room where Ace was sitting, wrapping one final present with Charlie.
“That’s the last one, my boy.” Ace glanced at me before ruffling Charlie’s unruly hair. Our son laughed and smiled up at his hero before turning to look at me, and his smile brightened even more.
“Mom, I can’t wait to show you what I made at school. Dad said you are going to love it!” He got up from his seat and ran over to me, throwing his arms around my sore body. He hugged me tightly. He was for sure a momma’s boy.
“I can’t wait, baby.” I kissed the top of his head, marveling at how much he had grown in the last year before whispering in his ear, “bedtime or Santa won’t be coming to the Danvers tonight.” His hug tightened for a moment before he darted off, loud footsteps bounding up the stairs.
Ace had quietly gotten up from the table and walked over to me, pulling me into his warm chest. I nuzzled my nose into his neck, inhaling my favorite smell, closing my eyes.
Ace had been my rock the last few weeks. When he told me the news about the company, I had basically crumpled to the ground in shock. I couldn’t believe that our legacy could be gone so quickly, and Ace had held my trembling body to his. He didn’t need to say anything for me to know how he felt.
