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I break down, crying on his shoulder. He keeps me close, stroking my hair away from my tear-streaked face and rubbing his hands over my back. I hear him speaking soft, soothing affirmations, but I don’t understand a word he says. It’s all white noise, in and out of my ears, as I cling to him and cry.
“All I’ve ever wanted was to be a fashion designer. I know…” I sniffle, losing my strength to carry on. “I know some people might think it’s silly, but it’s all I’ve wanted. All I wanted was the chance to design something that would make a woman feel beautiful and complete.”
“You can still have that.”
I shake my head and pull back to face him, tears and all. “No. Not…no. You don’t understand. My mother is holding my trust fund over my head. I have no money. I have nothing to start a business with.” I sniffle again, growing bolder to at least just get all of this off my shoulders once and for all. “I can’t open a bridal shop with no money, and she’s holding it out of reach. I almost eloped with a man I didn’t love just to access my trust fund to start my shop. I, I just—”
Tears overwhelm me again, and he holds me, stroking my hair and my back.
“It will be all right.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head. “It will be all right, Claire. I promise. One way or another, it will be all right.”
I let his words be a mantra through my mind. I can’t believe him. I want to, but it all seems so impossible. Still, as my tears slow and I steady my breathing, I let his words play on repeat in my mind.
I want to agree. For once, I don’t want to argue with him on this point. I so desperately want everything to be all right, but after being trapped and hopeless for so long, I struggle to see how anything will ever be right again.
“Are you calmer now?” he asks once I stop crying.
He cups my face, peering at me, and I nod as I draw a deep, fortifying breath. “Mostly.”
I’d be lying if I told him I’m fine.
Lifting a handful of fabric I’m clutching in my hand, I sigh and shake my head. “I’m calm enough to try to clean up more.” I scoff, dejected, as I look at the destruction.
“I’m going to head out for a minute. Okay?”
I blink and nod. “Well, sure. I don’t…I don’t expect you to be here and—”
He kisses me, silencing me with his lips, but it is a tender and firm press, not a sexual one.
“I’ll be back. Okay?”
I nod again before he leaves.
He can promise to come back, but I’m not sure what to tell him if he hopes to see the woman I was hours ago.
My soul is crushed. My spirit is broken. And I have nothing to offer him right now.
This, this is rock bottom.
Chapter 25
Sawyer
I hate to leave Claire, but I’m eager to get to Dalton’s house and speak with him. Besides, Claire doesn’t need me. That’s a lie. She does. And I want more than anything to be the shoulder she can cry on, but that phase is over.
It is just a dress, not a finished garment, but the start of a beautiful gown if Claire’s sketches are accurate. It’s not just anything like a sewn-together mixture of fabrics. I realize it. This is a loss she needs to grieve. It doesn’t matter if it’s an inanimate object or not, Lauren’s design symbolizes a lot to Claire. It’s the start of her career, and Adelaide has stomped all over it.
As I hurry out to my truck, my heart feels so heavy and chipped. I hurt because Claire is hurting, but still, I know I’m not making a mistake in leaving her right now. I will be back. And I hope that I can further help her if I step aside for a few minutes to speak with Dalton.
Besides, tears are only one step of the grieving process. When I lost my father, I cried myself out. Afterward, I needed the space and time to think it all out, too. I recognized that shift in Claire. She cried on my shoulder, but as she calmed down, I saw that she likely would appreciate a chance to think and accept what has happened.
“It will be all right,” I whisper to myself as I get into my truck. I glance back up at the cabin, worrying about her even though I understand she needs to grasp this loss herself. I can’t force her to feel better. I won’t lie and trick her into thinking it’s not so bad. She deserves a chance to fully recognize and come to terms with her emotions about this.
But I refuse to lose faith. I’ve stumbled and erred my entire way to get here, but now the truth is a brutal force that opens my eyes wide. It will be all right. Claire will not go with her mother, and she won’t be bartered or manipulated for the sake of marriage or prestige. I will fight for her because she matters that much. I’ve known it since I met her. From the second I first saw her, I just knew she would turn my world and my life upside down if I let her.
I didn’t only let her, I welcomed her into my existence. I chased her. I encouraged her to pursue me, too. Claire matters to me and always will in an undeniable way. My feelings were so strong for her after we slept together in Denver because I could tell that she was the part of my heart that was missing. That she was the light I needed to be a better man. I began to accept how much I cared for Claire last night, but after seeing her mother try to abuse her like this, it was strikingly clear that I would never look for a stupid excuse and try to guard myself against her ever again.
She needs me.
