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“Not was. Is. There is something between us, Aubrey. And I will fight for it. I told you I’m falling in love with you. That I think I already have.”
I love you. This time, I’m too nervous to repeat it out loud. It doesn’t feel right. And I can’t stomach the vulnerability I feel at wanting to voice those words.
“But you still have this going on with her back home, and—”
“No! I don’t have anything going on with Johanna. She just wants to talk and is trying to threaten me to—”
“This was a mistake.” She shoots to her feet and with an armful of the sheet, she keeps herself covered as she rushes for the shared door.
“It’s not a mistake,” I argue as I intercept her. I stop her, blocking her from reaching the portal that connects our rooms. “Let me explain.”
“There’s nothing you can say.”
“The hell there isn’t!”
She presses her lips together and tips her chin up defiantly. “No. There’s nothing that can change how it is. You’re going back to New York. I’m going to wait for my application to be considered for that teaching position here. There’s just no way this could work between us, Dalton. I think we both know it.”
Her rejection slaps me in the face. I step back, needing distance between us before I react.
Once again—rejected.
Once again—heartbroken.
Once again—I’m not chosen by the woman I see as my future.
How many times will this happen? When will I learn?
I don’t register her leaving until I hear the shared door click closed after she shuts it.
I reel back, staggering toward the bed as a hard realization dawns over me.
I didn’t learn a damn thing. I never will. After Aubrey telling me no like that, I see where I erred. Deep down, I know the reason I allowed Johanna to contact me without hearing her out was that I wanted to hold on to the dying hope of an old dream. A fantasy that I would have a woman, a partner, to truly share my life with and grow old with. But I didn’t wake up fast enough to see that my dream, my real dream has been right in front of me this whole time. I clung to the idea of Johanna still being in my life in a distant way because I feared never finding a future to look forward to. I didn’t want Johanna, but I held on to her contact because she represented the last time I went for that damn dream of a forever with a woman.
But my real fate, my real dream, has been here all along.
Aubrey. She’s the one I want. She’s the one I want to argue with until we’re officially an old married couple who can enjoy the stereotype of bickering with each other too much. She’s the one I want to go to sleep with and wake up next to each morning.
Aubrey is my dream, and I’ve just royally messed it up.
Hours later, when I board my flight to return to New York, I’m still staggering with that revelation. I dismiss the details of my first-class seat. I ignore the other passengers settling in.
I stare straight ahead and struggle to escape the awful feeling of making the biggest mistake of my life. I’m an absolute idiot. I have to be because I know without a doubt that I’m leaving my dream girl back at the Goldfinch in Colorado.
Chapter 30
Dalton
Two weeks pass by without Aubrey in my life. Each of the fourteen days feels empty and long. Work doesn’t have much meaning, and I’m not motivated to get up early to go to the office. Life simply isn’t the same.
Since I’m here in New York again, one of the things I do need to accomplish is speaking with Johanna. All of my meetings are done. I’ve finished speaking with the boards and all the people connected with my foundations. The appointments ran longer than they expected because of all I shared with them, but now that I’ve crossed those meetings and conversations off my list, I feel much more prepared to finally meet with Johanna and tell her what I need to.
She’s late coming to the restaurant where I told her to meet me. When she arrives, she’s all smiles. Dressed impeccably and with her hair styled to perfection, she eases into the chair. I don’t care for the smirk she gives me, like she’s got something she can hold over me. She doesn’t, but I don’t betray that yet. I’m curious about what she has to tell me. True to my nature, I remain quiet and wait to listen to her first.
“How nice of you to finally meet up with me.” Her sarcasm is uncalled for. She’s got no excuse for browbeating me into seeing her again after all the times I told her we were done.
I don’t reply, letting my deadpan expression be all the answer she needs.
Her smirk slips into a smile, then falls all the way. She grows uneasy the longer I sit there not speaking until she rolls her eyes and looks away. “I see you’re still the conversationalist you always were.”
