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He narrows his eyes on me. “Let’s just say I’ve had a lot of time to think about things.”
“Things like what?” I whisper, cautiously meeting his gaze.
He lifts a shoulder. “Everything.”
A long moment passes where we just stare at each other, everything we can’t or won’t say stretched out between us, blanketing the air with some inexplicable tension.
I can’t help but think back on our fight outside the diner back in October. This is the first real conversation we’ve had since then.
Save for the night a brawl broke out at the bar, and the text he sent me a couple weeks ago, after I unloaded on him in a moment of weakness…
He’s completely shut me out.
Until now.
While I know he’s mainly only here because of what happened to Will and Waylon…
He still came to find me, to check on me.
That has to mean something.
“What if…” I find myself saying, my voice hesitant, “what if I did do something?”
Jeremy frowns. “What do you mean?”
I swallow thickly, not breaking his gaze. “What if the universe is punishing us for something I did?”
He straightens to his full height, shoulders dropping. “Like what?”
My tongue pokes out, dragging over my lips, rolling over my piercing. “I don’t know. Just…something. Something that…altered or shifted our timeline or something.”
Jeremy shifts foot to foot, and I can’t tell if he’s uncomfortable. Or just trying to keep warm. His furrowed gaze drops to the sidewalk. “But that implies your actions somehow carry more weight than, well, everyone. What makes you so special?” He shakes his head, brow wrinkling. “I’m just sayin’. It’s a bit egotistical of you, don’t you think? As if you have enough power to sway the tides that much. Just you…”
“Well, when you put it like that.”
Jeremy chuckles, and it’s this throaty, raspy thing that has the little hairs on my neck standing upright. His gaze lifts to mine, and I give him a small smile, telling him I’m not hurt by his words. He’s got a good fucking point. And it’s nothing I haven’t told myself before…
Then why does bad shit keep happening to the people I love?
“Shit happens,” Jeremy says simply, as if reading my mind. “Yeah, we’ve gone through a lot more shit than most people. Perhaps we’re just victims of Murphy’s Law—what can go wrong, will go wrong.” He shrugs. “Some people go years, lucky enough to never have to go through anything like we have. And then some people are just knocked on their ass over and over and over again. So long as one exists, the other will too. It’s just the way things go.”
“You think we’ll ever get a break?”
“Theoretically, we should. Balance and all.”
I nod. “As above, so below.”
Jeremy’s mouth rises with a smile. “What goes up, must come down.”
“The only way out, is through.”
Our gazes lock, and for a moment, I don’t think either one of us dares to breathe or to so much as move a muscle. It’s just Jeremy and me in a vortex of falling ice.
“Where do we go from here?” I whisper after a moment.
His throat ripples with a swallow, drawing stark attention to the tendons pushing against his skin. His fluttering pulse. “I don’t know.”
My brow creases, and I nod shortly.
