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Beck doesn't ask for the remote, and as if he was watching the show he selected earlier in the day, he chuckles and seems to enjoy the cartoon I put on to test him.
He doesn't say one foul word about my selection, which honestly is surprising. He isn't sighing in frustration or grumbling, calling me immature, which I fully expected from such a muscular, tattooed guy.
I want to ask him a million questions, but I don't know how those would be received.
I know he has to have something better to do than sit in the room all damn day and babysit me. Maybe he doesn't trust me in here alone, but that can't be the case because he left shortly after dropping me off in here last night. I haven't caught him eyeing different areas of the room to see if I stole or damaged anything.
Honestly, I don't think I want him to leave. His presence in the room is comforting to me.
When he takes the dishes to the kitchen, he lets me know that he's going to be gone for a few minutes. I figured out the first time that he does this so I know it'll be okay for me to get up and use the bathroom.
This morning I was able to grab a shower after locking the door. I knew it was a risk. What person has a lock on their door but no key?
It was a risk I had to take because my skin still itched from Xan's blood that coated it. Just thinking of my skin being marked with it made my stomach turn.
After he leaves the room and closes the door, I rush to flip the lock and run to the bathroom. I take care of my business and wash my hands before splashing water on my face. I've done nothing but sit and lie down all day, but I'm exhausted. The fear of thinking I was going to die yesterday combined with that fear of knowing I will soon have exhausted me. That fatigue has settled inside of me, making me feel like I weigh a million pounds.
As I'm walking back to the closet, the doorknob jiggles, and a screech of terror leaves my lips before I can stop it. I clap my hands over my mouth, my hands trembling uncontrollably.
"I forgot something," Beck says from the other side of the door. "I'll be back in a minute."
I somehow manage to hear his footsteps carry him away from the door, and I know he's providing me with the opportunity to unlock the door for him and to get back into the closet. The grace he's offering terrifies me as much as it makes me wish that I was a different person, meeting this man under different circumstances.
It also wakes up that voice in the back of my head that has constantly reminded me since I got here last night that every favor he's given will have to be repaid. No one does anything for free. There's always an exchange in everything in life and this situation is no different.
I rush to unlock the door and race back to the closet, but I freeze when I lift my hand to pull closed the closet door.
I don't want to be isolated. I never did. It was always an issue of contention when I lived with Nathan and Xan. I wanted friends and to go and do normal things. They couldn't allow it because my access to the outside world would only give me opportunities to betray them. After running away the first time, trying to meet a girl I befriended who was in one of my online homeschool classes, they stopped letting me do online school. It was the final act that isolated me completely aside from the trips to the hair and nail salons. I had to look the part of the business mogul's daughter after all.
Beck doesn't say anything about the door being locked when he comes back a few minutes later. He offers me a wrapped snack cake and a bottle of water before sitting on the bed.
I want to say thank you for all that he's done for me, but I know it will only open the door to him listing the ways I can thank him. Although I know it's coming, I just don't want to be the one to set that into motion.
Instead, I lift the remote and go back to the show he was watching before lunch.
We spend the rest of the day until dinnertime exactly as we have all day, watching television and not speaking to each other.
He stays gone a long while when he leaves for dinner, but he told me he would. My shower is just as fast as it was this morning, but I don't let myself imagine being able to get back on the regular routine I had at the shelter. I prefer to bathe at night because it helps me feel better going into a night of bad dreams.
He doesn't bring himself a plate of food when he comes back, and I find myself a little sad that we won't be eating together.
"Thank you," I whisper when he places the plate in front of me, once again keeping his distance, as if he's feeding a feral dog that might run at the first chance.
"Of course," he says, giving me a quick smile. "Is it okay if I grab some clothes?"
I look above my head, feeling like a complete asshole for invading this man's space. He must think I'm a complete nutcase.
"Yeah, I mean I can—"
"You're fine. I just didn't want to upset you."
I open my mouth to argue with him, that part of my nature is something that continuously got me in trouble with Nathan, but I clamp my mouth closed instead.
He doesn't speak again as he grabs some clothes. He stops at the dresser for something out of the top drawer before disappearing into the bathroom.
Although from my vantage point, I can't see the door, I know by the lack of sound that he doesn't lock it behind him.
I can't let myself think that he trusts me enough not to go in there while he's vulnerable. It's more likely that he knows I'm not brave enough to do it. He'd be right.
