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“What happened?” Charlie asked.
I told her what had occurred at dinner and how we’d wound up at the clubhouse.
“Oh, wow,” she said.
“Oh, wow? That’s all you’ve got to say to me.” I closed my eyes as I rinsed my hair of shampoo and then I added conditioner.
“What do you want me to say?”
“Is he right? Am I right?”
“Both of those things can be true,” she said. “You can be wary about getting involved with a biker, and he can be treading softly about what he’s involved in so as not to scare you off.”
I rinsed one final time and then turned off the water. I reached for a fluffy white towel and wrapped it around me.
“If you were seriously dating Savage, would it bother you not knowing what he’s involved in? And when you ask, he’d just say ‘it’s club business’.”
“But I’m not seriously dating Savage.”
“But if you were,” I pushed.
“What does it matter what I think?” Charlie said. “You clearly don’t like that Bones won’t tell you stuff. What I think doesn’t matter.”
I wrung out my hair. “I’m at a crossroads. I know I am. I’ve never felt this way before. I want him. And every time I try to step back and take space, he shows up, reminding me that my life has been lackluster…empty. I don’t want empty, Charlie. I want something real.”
“You do?” she asked quietly.
I nodded. “I really do. I’ve made the right choice so many times and where has it gotten me? Nowhere. I kind of…want to make the wrong choice and see how that goes.”
“I think that’s incredible,” she said. “I think you’ve been hiding from life for far too long, so I support this one hundred percent.”
“How do I let him in, Charlie?” I stepped out of the tub onto a white bathmat. I curled my toes into the plush surface as I stared at her.
“I don’t know how to answer that,” she said quietly. “I think the fact that you want to says it all. Even with your head telling you it’s a bad idea. What’s your gut telling you?”
“That he means what he says and that I can take him at his word. That this isn’t about the chase for him.”
“That’s hard to find. Background be damned.”
I moved over to the sink and began to comb out my hair. “Now, tell me why you lied to Savage and told him you were hanging out with me last night.”
“Because I didn’t want to see him.”
“Why didn’t you want to see him?” I asked.
She looked at me.
I looked at her.
“Charlie, no.”
“Yes.”
“You caught feelings for him?”
She sighed. “Yeah. And I don’t even know how that happened.”
“You sure it’s not just really great sex? I hear that clouds the mind.”
