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Slowly, I moved my hands out of his, and he didn’t reach back for me.
The rest of dinner continued in contemplative silence. I didn’t know what was on Rocky’s mind, but I spent the meal rushing through the life I could’ve had with him. The dates and the fun. The hot sex and lazy weekend mornings. Barbecues with his MC brothers. A biker wedding. A baby. A long life together, one that would never be.
Could never be.
By the time we made it back to Rocky’s place, I was on the verge of a massive crying session that I didn’t want him to see or hear. “Thanks for dinner,” I whispered, and brushed a soft kiss against his cheek. “Good night.”
He reached for me, but I slipped from his grasp, knowing that if I let him touch me, caress me, then I would end up in bed with him again. It was exactly what I wanted, except it would only make it harder knowing he wanted my body but not the rest of me.
Tears bled into desire, and that’s when I knew just how fucked up I was over this man. I stripped down and reached inside the nightstand for my trusty little vibrator before laying across the bed with my legs open, thinking of the man I couldn’t have anywhere but the confines of my mind.
Chapter 17
Rocky
I fucked up with Peyton. Again. I was brutally honest with her, which I believed was more important than any fluffy lie. But that honesty had hurt her—I saw it in her eyes—and that was the last thing I wanted to do. I watched her race up the stairs, eager to get as far away from me as possible, feeling helpless as fuck.
I’d asked her out, because I was an idiot. Because I wanted to, because I was selfish, because I wanted to see what it would feel like if we could be more. Maybe there was a way to figure things out. Maybe the timing wasn’t right, maybe we could…I don’t know. Do something. Wait. Figure all the hard shit out, first.
But as we spoke, she began to shut down on me. And fuck it, but I am not good with emotional shit. It flusters me the fuck up. I didn’t know what to say, how to say it. If there was anything even worth saying, or if I was just fucking kidding myself. It seemed as if she preferred to end shit now instead of fucking around on a ‘maybe’, and so I’d let it all drop. After I’d explained my reasoning, I’d let her talk us into another ending. And it was probably for the best.
I don’t know what I was thinking.
I gave Peyton twenty minutes. Thirty minutes. When she didn’t emerge from the bedroom, I knew I needed to talk to her and clear the air or she might do something reckless like leave. No matter that I couldn’t seem to have her, she was important to me. Maybe I wasn’t the man to give her a future, but I would damn well make sure she had one.
“Fuck,” I growled, and climbed the stairs with grim determination. She didn’t deserve this. I froze at her door at the sounds I heard. Low moans and breathless panting.
My cock hardened instantly at the erotic sounds on the other side of the door. I pressed my ear to hear better, immediately feeling like an asshole for listening to Peyton fuck herself. She’s not mine, I told myself over and over, but my hands and my cock had a mind of their own. The stranglehold on my cock was sweet relief, but I knew I shouldn’t do it because I couldn’t have her.
“Oh fuck, Rocky. Yeah, fuck me with your tongue. Just. Like. That.” The sound of her guttural moans, the hungry desire, and the naked lust was more than I could handle. She was imagining me, in there. She was teasing her sweet little pussy, and thinking about me.
I was just a man, a weak man where she was concerned, and it took every ounce of willpower to stay right where I was.
I strained a little more and heard the telltale sound of a vibrator. My control snapped and I burst into her room to the hottest fucking sight—Peyton spread across the bed, naked, with her back arched and her head tossed back, a blue vibrator buzzing inside her. My name on her lips.
“Rocky?” Confusion colored her voice, but it was still breathless and aroused. “What are you doing?”
My heart pounded in my chest, and I stood there in search of the answer to her question. What the fuck was I doing? My gaze went from her face and slid down her gorgeous curves until I landed on her pussy, wet and swollen, glistening pink. “You.” I dropped to my knees at the foot of the bed, hooking my arms around her hips and yanking her to the edge.
“Rocky,” she moaned, and pushed up on her elbows as I settled her feet on my shoulders, so she was spread perfectly for me.
“Is this what you wanted?” I licked my lips and dove into her sweet pussy, tonguing her clit with the ferocity of a starving man while I fucked her with the vibrator, over and over.
“Rocky, yes! Just. Like. That.”
I smiled at her repeated words, enjoying the way her thighs quivered on either side of my head while I devoured her pussy with an intensity that had warning bells clanging in the distance.
She came once, toes curling around my shoulders as her hips bucked off the bed and right against my mouth. “Fuck!”
I smiled, still pumping the vibrator in and out of her quaking pussy, still sucking her clit until she gave me another orgasm.
“Oh fuck, Rocky! Yes! More!”
I cranked the vibrator up to its highest speed and nibbled her clit until she gave me another, more powerful orgasm that had her whole body vibrating with the force of the pleasure coursing through her veins.
Petyon’s body went slack, but her gaze never left my face. “Fuck me, Rocky. Fuck me now.” I got to my feet and shucked off my pants and boxers while she scrambled onto all fours, arching her back so her slick pussy was bared to my gaze. “Now,” she moaned. “I need you now.”
“Ah, fuck, Peyton.” I wasn’t here for this, but I couldn’t stop myself under the threat of death. Her pussy dripped with need for me, and I slid deep in one long, slow stroke until I was buried balls deep. I groaned at the way she pulsed all around me, her body still shaking with the last orgasm.
