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I nod enthusiastically. “Better than good.”
Jakob reaches out and cups my jaw. The pad of his rough thumb feels so good as he strokes my cheekbone with it.
He looks happy. Maybe even satisfied. But is he just being nice?
I bite my lip when he turns away to refill his wine glass.
I want a do-over on last night. I want to invite him to share my bed. I want to make him feel as good as he made me feel. I just don’t know what to say first.
I have so little experience with sex, but I’m pretty sure it’s considered good manners to, at the very least, bring your partner to completion after they make you come so hard you see stars.
My cheeks blaze and my armpits sweat as I think about what happened right afterward. The sight of him sucking my essence from his glazed fingertips. Good gods, that felt so wrong to watch, but it made me ache for him all the more. I didn’t think it was possible to want someone so much. I’ve always been a one-and-done girl. One quick round with the butterfly wand and I’m a sleepy little kitten.
Jakob has awakened so much in me, but at the same time, he’s made me a mute.
He’s studying me now as he sips his wine, his eyes looking all crinkly and gorgeous in the amber sunset. “Where’s your head at right now, Josephine?”
“It’s hard for me to talk about what’s really going on in my head.”
He sits up, crosses his legs, and rests his elbows on his knees, positioning himself so he leans in, showing me with every bone in his body that he’s listening.
“You know there’s nothing you can say that will make me think less of you, Josephine.”
Jakob says my name with an edge of possession that makes my spine feel like cooked spaghetti.
I draw in a breath, readying myself to be the brazen girl that’s locked inside somewhere. I’m about to set her free when Jakob’s phone pings.
“I-oh…is that your phone or mine?” I ask.
He chuckles. “Doesn’t matter. You look like you had something important you wanted to say. Say it.”
He speaks softly, patiently, but still somehow commanding. I am utterly wrapped in his attention. He’s made me feel safe since the moment he stepped off the train, just as he used to do when we were just kids.
“I took off a whole week of work,” I tell him. I quickly add, “But I don’t have to if you would rather have time away from me.”
Everything I’ve ever wanted is right here. Why can’t I just say what I want?
“You took a week off from work for my benefit?” he asks, threading his fingers through mine, a gesture so easy for him it makes me feel like we’ve been together for years.
“I did.” What I don’t say is I did it so we can have lots and lots of sex.
He chuckles. “Why would I want time away from you?”
I’m being a ridiculous little mouse. If I want my life to change, I have to change it. With Jakob holding my hand, I finally feel ready to speak these things out loud.
“I don’t know why I said that. Because I don’t want that. I want to spend as much time with you as I possibly can. I—I took a week off so we could reconnect before…before you decide what to do next.”
Jakob takes no time to exhale before tumbling me under him on the blanket, taking my mouth in the most delicious kiss, sharing the sigh of relief with me. “You’re the fucking sweetest, did you know that?”
I can’t answer that while Jakob’s tongue licks into my mouth. I’m warm and tingly everywhere. He makes everything I was worried about so easy. Almost too easy.
His phone makes that noise again.
I laugh against his mouth. “Someone’s trying to reach you desperately.”
Jakob groans through one, two, three soft pecks, then finally pulls out his phone.
My eyes drift to the screen there, and it’s someone named Suzanna texting him the words in all caps: “CALL ME.”
