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It's my turn to huff out a hot exhale. "Okay, and you think kissing another man will help?”
There's something in her eyes now, something closer to guilt, but not quite.
I shake my head. "This is revenge. You want to hurt me so I’ll know exactly what it felt like that night you had to see me with Spencer.” I lick my lips and cross the space between us, using my body to crowd her all over again. "Did it make you feel better?"
She squeezes her lips shut and simply glares icy daggers at me.
"Truthfully, you don’t have to speak. I can see it in your eyes right now. You want me to hurt. You could give a shit about that guy. No, this was a selfish act. Wasn’t it? Am I right? Tell me, Bel. Tell me I’m right. Tell me that you thought if you hurt me the same way I hurt you, your pain would be less. Tell me.”
"No," she growls, still gritting her teeth. "I knew it wouldn’t be less, but it would make me feel better for a little fucking while. And if anyone deserves to feel better, it’s me. Boo-hoo, so what if you had to watch me kiss another guy, and yeah, he groped me a little bit, but nothing you went through tonight will ever amount to what I felt and went through. You're not the one who had to have stitches in your scalp, and I don’t recall anyone that cared about you calling you a whore and throwing dollar bills at you.”
“No amount of apologizing will change what happened. I can’t undo the past, Bel. All I can do is try to do better, and you’re making it increasingly difficult.”
“Good!” she sneers. “I don’t want you to do better. I want you to leave me alone and realize you can’t win me back no matter how hard you try.”
I grab her by the wrist, bringing us closer together. My eyes scan her face, the dilation of her pupils, the way her pulse thrums in the side of her neck, and the sharp intake of breath she takes when I get up close. Leaning in close enough that our lips are almost touching, I speak, “I don’t have to win you back, Flower. You’ve always been mine. I’d just prefer your forgiveness over anger, but in the end, I’ll take you however I can get you.”
“I hate you!” she seethes, her nostrils flaring.
“You don’t, but you wish you did, because if you hated me then all of this would be so much easier. If you could blame me, if I was the monster you portray me to be, if you really fucking believed the things you tell yourself about me, then this would be done with.” She won’t admit it, but she knows I’m right.
“Get away from me!” she hisses, struggling in my grasp.
The more she fights me, the harder my cock gets. If she needs to pretend that she hates me, fine. I’ll let her have that. By now, she should’ve realized that she’s mine to hurt, fuck, and completely and utterly destroy.
Doing the opposite of what she wants, I tighten my hold on her and walk her backward, trapping her against the tree once again.
I mold my body against hers, pressing all my hard edges to her soft ones. Fuck, it feels so good. The tiniest whimper escapes her lips, and my eyes dart to her pretty mouth. Those full lips of hers, begging to be bit and kissed.
“Let go of me! I don’t want you. We’re over!” she screams.
Her words say one thing, but her body says something else entirely. I can feel her pressing back against me, silently begging me for more. Her body says what she never will, at least not right now. I drag my eyes away from her lips and press my forehead against hers, breathing her in, letting her breathe me in.
A war wages in her green eyes. She wants to push me away, but she also wants to give in. At some point, I’ll make the decision for her, but for a little while longer, I’ll play her game.
“We’re never done, Bel. We weren’t done that night at the banquet, and we aren’t done now. I don’t give a fuck what it takes to make you see that. I will stop at nothing. I will come to your house every single fucking day. I will crawl across the fucking floor on my hands and knees and beg you. I know you’re hurting, and I’m sorry. There won’t ever be enough words to explain that to you, and I accept that. I accept that I fucked up, even if I thought what I was doing was the right thing. But I want to move forward. I have to, and there’s only one way to do that.”
“You’re forgetting the most fundamental part of all. The opinion of the person who matters most: me.”
“I didn’t forget you.”
“You did. You haven’t asked me what I wanted in all of this. You think that an apology automatically fixes things like a magic wand simply because you know how to put on the charm, and abracadabra, everything is fixed.”
I snarl and tighten my hold. “I’m not expecting it to be fixed.”
Lifting her arm, she cuts off my grip, then gives my chest a hard shove back. I barely move, but I let her think she has control.
“It was clear to me that day in the library when we first met that you weren’t used to being told no, but I will say it until you understand. I don’t want you, Drew. There is no forgiveness to be given. The sooner you realize that, the sooner all of this can end, and we can move on with our lives.”
It hurts to hear her say those words, but they change nothing. She is still mine.
"Like it or not, I will never let you go. Like I said before, I’d prefer you be mine willingly, but I will take you however I can get you. Do your worst, Flower. Hit me. Hurt me. Fuck other men. I don't give a shit what you do, but that fact will never change. You are mine, and I don't give up what's mine. Not ever."
12
BEL
Ican't breathe through the searing heat of his stare, and the way it holds me in place. My knees barely support me as it is.
