Page 19 of On Thin Ice


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To his credit, Asher didn’t laugh at me. He didn’t roll his eyes or tell me to find another pet project. All of those things had already crossed my mind. I had prepared myself for a heartless response and a miscommunication. “Go on.”

I licked my lips and drummed the fingertips of my left hand against the counter. “We keep starting off the wrong way, Asher. Since I met you, we’ve been one wrong word away from a fight. I’m tired of always fighting. And I’m tired of looking like the know-it-all asshole you think I am. We’re here now, as close to heaven as it gets, and we’re wasting our breath on bickering.”

Asher pouted for a moment. It was hard not to crack a smile at that. Nothing made me want to kiss him as much as his bratty pouts. “Why do I feel like you’re calling me out?”

I snorted. “I’m really not. Can you listen to me for a hot minute?”

“I’m fucking with you,” he said and shook his head. “I hear you. We’re not a great match, but why let that ruin our summer, huh?”

I sucked my teeth softly and bought a moment of time to think by drinking coffee. Then, I exhaled and shrugged. “It’s more than that. We could actually have a good time here. Who knows how long we’ll be alone. Besides, we’re heading for another year of sharing the house at Northwood, playing on the same team, and spending holidays with our parents. You know what would be good? If we weren’t out for blood all the damn time. And it’s my fault as much as it is yours.”

He narrowed his eyes almost playfully. It was like he wanted to see if he could provoke me. He didn’t want to know what he was provoking with those expressions.

“Let’s not keep a scoreboard. Or let’s reset it and keep a new score,” I suggested.

Asher was quiet for a minute. When he looked at me again, he seemed genuinely curious. “What brought that on?”

“I dunno,” I said. I can’t stand having all these crazy, wild feelings for you and only ever showing you contempt. “I figured we might get along if we stopped resurrecting all the old fights.”

“Okay,” Asher said simply. “Eye for an eye, but from zero.” He chuckled, and I realized he was kidding. It was hard to keep up. When his laughter died down, he avoided my eyes and looked at his coffee instead. It took him a long time before he spoke again and he shifted awkwardly more than once in that silence. “And about last night…” His voice was tight again.

I forced out a chuckle even though the mere mention of it made my dick stir. “We’re all human. It was just bad timing.”

Asher shook his head while staring at his coffee, his lips stretching into a wickedly handsome smile of disbelief. “Right. Let’s not talk about that, then.”

I would have tapped his shoulder then and said something light and fun, but the fire in me burned so brightly that I didn’t dare risk grazing his skin with mine. I would explode like dynamite. I would burst into flames.

We laughed together and I pulled back a pace. It was as good as things could get. I wasn’t going to risk this little truce by immediately discussing the fact that he had masturbated exactly four minutes after having a fight with me. And I absolutely wouldn’t let myself think about it, either. If he had gotten over our fight so quickly that he could get hard, undress, and sweat all over, I didn’t want to think that it showed how little importance he assigned to me.

For just one day, I wanted to try something I had never allowed myself to try before.

I wanted us to be friends.

SEVEN

Asher

It was as bumpy as any truce could begin. Even though he had waved it off, I was acutely aware of the unspoken knowledge. Just seeing Jordan in passing made me think of it. And then it made me think of all the things that could be going through his head.

If he didn’t almost trip and stumble every time we passed one another, I might have found a way to convince myself he wasn’t actively thinking about it. But his behavior was enough of a clue. Jordan couldn’t look at me without thinking about last night. Without remembering that he had caught me in the act.

The old Jordan I had known for years would have probably found a way to give me a lecture about it. This guy, however, kept his mouth shut. He was awkward as fuck, but then again, he had obviously caught me in the middle of the dirty act.

The thundering panic that had filled my chest had mixed with the height of pleasure that I had strived for and the bitter disappointment at being interrupted hadn’t made for the best moment to have a heart-to-heart. It was lucky that Jordan was still in a good mood this morning, offering a few moments of peace.

I wanted it down to my marrow. I wanted him to look at me with something like approval in his eyes, with a touch of a smile on his lips.

But because all I was getting were folded lips and avoided glances, I decided to spend my morning swimming in the lake. Jordan must have been thinking the same thing, but he stayed behind.

I wore my yellow swim shorts. They were a size too small for my ass this year. I hadn’t realized how much I had worked out, but it should have been obvious. Every time my big stepbro had annoyed me, I had taken the anger out on our campus gym equipment. I had worked my glutes hard for my first season of college hockey and I hadn’t thought to check if my shorts still fit.

My muscles burned after some time. I didn’t know how long I swam for. I plowed through the water, losing myself in the distance, then returning to shallower water. Back and forth, back and forth, I swam until I was exhausted. Last night, after the most awkward encounter of my life — only rivaled by my mom’s idea that an STI presentation was a fun activity for a family night — I had been in no mood to give it another go. Jordan’s hurried exit wasn’t an aphrodisiac, all things considered, so I had tried sleeping. I hadn’t had much luck with that, either.

My eyelids were heavy and my eyes grainy. I swam to the pier and climbed out of the water, then lay on my outstretched towel to dry slowly in the sunshine. The golden rays kissed my bare skin, lulling me with their warmth. I didn’t know how it happened, but I woke up with a start and peeled my eyes open to see my big stepbrother towering over me.

“I hope you remembered your sunscreen,” he said softly.

“Of course I did,” I muttered, my voice groggy from sleep. Even so, I could feel the heat radiate from my body. If I woke up red as a crab tomorrow, I would never hear the end of it.

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