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Sawyer’s eyes narrowed one evening as he looked from Tyler to me and back. “You guys are sus,” he said.
Those words were enough to make my blood freeze. The basement was crowded tonight, and Tyler was playing table soccer against Asher, kicking ass and sipping beer. We had done some hard drills all evening and most of us were too tired to be anywhere but here. Beckett was dealing cards on the table after confidently shuffling the deck and accidentally spilling cards all around himself, claiming Caden had distracted him with a sexy lip bite. Avery was in a large recliner, texting his boyfriend no doubt, and Jordan Mitchell appeared to be in a surprisingly good mood. It was possible that he had the winning hand at the gaming table. Caden, however, looked sour, and I wondered if the two were bluffing. But Sawyer’s words turned my attention away from the card game. “Sus? Why?”
I hated that my voice was a few notes higher than usual.
“I don’t know,” Sawyer said. “Something’s different. You guys fighting?”
Tyler snorted. “We haven’t had a fight since twenty-eleven.”
I wondered where he pulled that year from. It made me laugh.
Sawyer pursed his lips in thought. Then, as he ran a hand through his hair, his eyebrows dragged a little higher. “You usually pretty much sit in each other’s laps,” he said with a hint of wonder. “But you stopped. Did someone say something? Should I kick some ass?”
He had that ass-kicking tendency, that was for sure. I would have appreciated his offer more if I wasn’t terrified that he was onto something. Tyler and I had always been close and physical. It was never anything meaningful when we sat next to one another and he scratched the back of my head for no reason. That was just how we were.
Now that Sawyer had mentioned it, I realized we had kept a bit of a distance when other guys were around. I was just more aware of our physicality and what it meant. Now that it carried a deeper meaning and sparked stronger emotions, it was too private to let the others see. Besides, we were nowhere near ready to go public. The thought alone made my stomach feel like I’d swallowed an anvil.
Nine days had passed since Tyler left his relationship with Courtney. Nine days had passed since we had kissed each other and promised to be exclusive, to give us a chance. And in those nine days, he had filled every corner of my mind and heart with no room for anyone and anything else.
The love I had nurtured for him my whole life was changing. It wasn’t as easy as two best friends stroking it out together. The differences were huge and often surprising. The way we touched one another, just a tap on the arm, throughout our lives wasn’t the same anymore. Now, it was my skin on his, with the appreciation of his body and the urge to do more than just touch him.
But we were taking it slowly. In these nine days, neither had suggested anything more than what we had already done. Our lives were oddly unchanged. We hadn’t gone on a date yet and we hadn’t experimented with more than each other’s mouths and hands. It was hella fun, though.
Something about it was hard to swallow. So far, Tyler had done all the important things. He had initiated the first kiss, he had broken up with Courtney, and he had taken things to the next level. He had defined us as boyfriends. It was my turn to make a move, but I was too nervous to try it. I’d read up on it one morning while Tyler was at the library. I’d looked up some stuff about the anatomy and mechanics of gay sex and I had to admit that I walked away from it discouraged and intimidated. I feared bringing it up with Tyler, too, because he could misunderstand my intentions. And the clock was ticking.
I got my opportunity two days later. We were off that evening and I wanted to show him that I could contribute to this relationship. We had done ninety minutes at the campus gym and showered afterward. My muscles were sore as I wiped myself dry in the locker room. My heart leaped when Tyler leaned against his locker and scanned my whole body.
“I keep getting surprised by how hot you are,” he said.
I smiled at that as I pulled on my underwear. He was risking getting me hard in the middle of the locker room and we never knew when someone might catch us. “I’m surprised it took us this long to notice.” There was so much to learn about this new dynamic. There were countless new turn-ons for both of us and that was without thinking about the consequences of coming out. My chest tightened as that crossed my mind. I changed the topic. “Do you wanna do a movie date tonight?”
“Hell yeah. I’ll do anything with you,” Tyler said.
“Wait, I didn’t even tell you which movie,” I said, my heart melting at his words.
“Oh, right. Okay. Try again.” He forced on a serious expression.
I cleared my throat. “Do you wanna do a movie date tonight?”
He shrugged like it was all the same to him. “Eh, I gotta check my calendar.”
I stifled a laugh. Of course, he took it ten steps further. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”
Tyler scratched the back of his head, his pec tensing and his muscled arm shaping so nicely that I nearly salivated. “I’m really not sure. Maybe some other time.” Then, he cocked his head and raised his eyebrows. “What movie were you thinking?” Mischief glimmered in his eyes.
Fuck. This was hard work, selling him a date idea. “It’s the new Caleb Ellison film. Lovers’ Paradise. I’m seeing good reviews everywhere.”
That sparked his interest more than he was trying to show. Tyler’s lips trembled on the verge of a smile, but he forced stillness to his face. “Keep talking,” he said playfully. “I might find a couple of hours in my busy, busy schedule.”
“Um, well, apparently, it’s loosely inspired by the true events surrounding Jonathan Harris’ presidential bid a couple of years ago,” I said.
“The sex scandal?” Tyler asked.
“His son’s sex scandal,” I elaborated.
Tyler dropped his act and took a few steps toward me. “You know what? There’s nothing I’d love more than to watch a gay sex scandal movie with my boyfriend tonight.”
“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic,” I teased.
