AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Then the other thing happened,” he whispered. A minute passed before he resumed speaking. “The day was a Friday, I think,” he began again. “No, Sunday,” he quickly corrected. “Perry and Jack always kept their Sunday mornings open for the New York Times, coffee, and fresh pastries. Yeah, that was the day,” he stated, pausing and drawing in a long breath.
I squeezed his free hand to let him know I was still there, still listening, still encouraging.
“I’ll never forget the call from Perry.” Cole paused again, I assumed from the pain of recalling the story. “I picked up his call. I think on the following Monday if my memory is correct. Perry just blurted it out. ‘Jack is dead, Cole,’ he’d said. I can still hear his voice. Very clinical and direct like he was speaking about a neighbor or a news story he’d seen.”
I sat up and looked at Cole. His eyes were closed as he spoke, tears falling like a waterfall.
“And then Perry just hung up. I sat there asking myself if I’d heard him correctly. Surely he wouldn’t just call and say such a thing, right?” he asked, his eyes still closed, not actually asking me if I agreed with this question. “I remember holding my phone so tightly that it hurt my hand and staring at the face until it went black, thinking my best friend was dead. No, that couldn’t be true, could it? I’m not sure when I got off the sofa that day. Alan had been gone a month or so, and now Jack was gone. I remember thinking that at least I could still call Alan, but not Jack.”
I watched as Cole remained quiet, deep in a sad memory. He seemed to be remembering the day, as if it was happening right then and there.
“That was the day I lost everything,” he whispered.
His eyes popped open, and he began to sob uncontrollably. I leaned into him and took him into my arms. “Let it out, Cole. Embrace your pain, and let it out,” I soothed.
After a couple of minutes, Cole lifted his head from my shoulder and pressed his face against mine, letting out a held breath before taking in another, slow and easy, one at a time, until his crying subsided.
He sat back, still holding my hand. “I never called Perry after the funeral, not until a few weeks ago,” he confessed. “And I still can’t bear to even think about Jack. To do so still hurts too much.”
I shook my head in embarrassment. “And then I barged in and grabbed that picture and started blabbing a bunch of nonsense about him,” I stated.
“I’m glad you did,” he said.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he replied. “I’ve missed him.
“Me too,” I said, making a pouty face.
“He’s not checking in lately?” Cole asked, not in the least bit seeming flip.
“Well,” I began. “He’s here, but he’s not saying much.”
Cole tapped his chest and then pointed toward me. “Anything about us?” he asked, raising an eyebrow and smiling.
“Nothing,” I revealed.
Cole’s smile raced from his face. “Nothing?”
I shook my head. “Not a thing.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO: Cole
Two weeks went by and Chad and I hung out three times. We spent time on the beach one of those times while I watched him and Rat surf. We all drank beer and then Rat made his exit, winking at me like he knew a secret. Chad and I stayed and talked until the sun set behind us. I knew I was crazy about him, but had decided to let a connection happen organically, if it was to happen at all.
The next time was when his folks invited me over for dinner again and I quickly accepted, even though I had not returned the favor by having them over to my place. The evening was a good time had by all, but I was not receiving signals from Chad that he saw me as anything but a friend.
He was warm, of course, and always affectionate, but I convinced myself he was simply a hugger by nature. Based on how loving he was with his parents, and then after seeing him with his buddies, he was just a demonstrative guy and because he expended the same loving energy with me, didn’t necessarily mean he felt anything other than friendship.
“I’ll fix dinner here at your house and we’ll invite my parents over,” he’d offered after I voiced my worry about reciprocating. We were chatting on my deck after he’d surfed and was heading home. I’d waved for him to come and visit.
“You don’t think that would seem strange to them?” I’d asked, hopeful that he liked me the way they might think he did.
He laughed out loud. “Cole, come on now. This is me we’re talking about. My folks already know I’m strange,” he’d quipped.
“But what about, you know,” I’d begun, unsure what I was asking or how to ask it. “You know. My house. You and me. That sort of thing.”
“Oh, that,” he’d said, waving a dismissive hand at me. “Mom and Dad know I’m not looking for anything but friendship. They also know I don’t have the head space for love right now.”
