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“No,” he spoke softly. “I don’t have a place to go.”
“Good,” I said. “You’re spending it with us.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT: CHAD
The Day Before – Part Two
“Oh God, no!” Alan exclaimed. “I could never do that.”
“Why?” I asked, locating his small luggage and heading for it. “Where else are you going to go on Christmas? You just told me you didn’t have plans,” I argued.
Alan’s hands still twisted in his lap. “I said I didn’t have anywhere to go.”
“Same thing,” I said. “Grab your jacket and follow me.”
I could be a force of nature when I wanted to get my way, and Christmas had sent me an important person. A person I wanted to know.
I showed Alan to one of our guest rooms. “Bathroom in there,” I said, motioning to an open door near the bed. “Take your time and freshen up if you want. A nap if you desire, and then meet me back downstairs. Cole won’t be home until tomorrow. You and I have cookies to bake and lots of wine to drink.”
“You’re really going to do this?” he asked. “What about Cole when he comes home?”
“What about him?” I asked. “He loves me, so he’ll love this too,” I said. “You’ll see.”
I went back to the kitchen. I heard the shower running and wondered if he’d take a nap as well until I heard him coming down the stairs. “Hi,” he said, looking unsure.
“Is red okay?” I asked, pointing at a bottle of wine I’d uncorked to breathe.
“Perfect,” he agreed, shrugging his shoulders and looking down at the same clothes he had on when he arrived.
I picked up on the signal. “That will not work,” I said, motioning to his expensive clothes. “Follow me again, please.”
I led him to mine and Cole’s bedroom and dug through a dresser drawer full of my sweats and T-shirts, tossing an adequate choice on the bed. “Those are for me?” he asked, raising his eyebrows in alarm.
“Yep. Not as fancy as you’re probably accustomed to, but like I said, you and I are baking cookies,” I reminded him. “See you downstairs.”
I headed for the door when Alan called my name. “Chad?” I turned to him. “Thank you,” he said. “You know, for…”
I interrupted him with my hand held up. “You’re very welcome. I’m glad you’re here, Alan. Truly.”
Alan was on edge at first, but eventually began to tell me more about himself. He left out details about him and Cole, but he did speak warmly of their seven years together. I agreed that seven years was a long time and sympathized with him when he got to the part about leaving Cole.
“I’m not sure why I left him, Chad. I thought I was missing out on something perhaps,” he began, using a spatula to move cookies to a cooling rack. “My therapist thinks I had a premature mid-life crisis. I’ll admit, turning thirty scared the hell out of me.”
“And you loved this other man?” I asked. “Cole mentioned he was also your boss?”
“Classy, right? Truthfully, I don’t think I did love him now that I’ve had the benefit of hindsight. Not that it has been much of a benefit.”
“I would never forsake Cole’s trust, but I will tell you that he admitted that losing you was awful.”
Alan turned around, leaned against the kitchen island, and faced me. “I was a thoughtless human being,” he admitted. “Truly horrible.”
“I was also left a year ago,” I revealed. “And I too was devastated, shocked, sad, bewildered, all the normal stuff people describe, so I understood how Cole felt.”
“Someone actually left you?”
I laughed him off. “Trust me. All of us, including me, make mistakes when it comes to love. Some are bigger than others, but how do you measure the degree when the results are the same?”
“What I did to Cole was simply gross. He didn’t deserve my cruelty.”
