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CHAPTER NINETEEN: NATALEE
I don't know who was more excited that I invited Jason in, me, or my mother.
"I hope I'm not being too forward," she drawled with seduction hanging on every syllable, "But you are incredibly attractive."
I threw a strained "Mom!" in her direction, but she swatted it away and flipped her hair with just enough nonchalance that you knew she was up to no good.
"What?" she answered, feigning innocence. "Isn't he incredibly attractive?"
Jason twitched his gaze in my direction, stifling a Cheshire grin.
I was just grateful there was a sea of junk separating the two of them, otherwise I'd have to get the squirt bottle reserved for my roommate's precocious cat.
"He's alright," I said begrudgingly, dodging the wink he tossed my way. 'Alright' wasn't even close. Despite surprise and residual anger making me give him a little nudge when I opened the door and came face to face with the last person I expected to see, my heart told a different story than my hands.
My hands may have wanted to throttle him for ever approaching me in that bar. For ever cutting those baby blues at me in the dim light, shining with mischief and the promise of a night I'd never forget. And I hadn't, because the minute we'd been reunited before the wedding, I had a physical reaction to him: the overwhelming desire to slap him—then tear off my pants and show him that the only woman he should be fucking in the bathroom, or anywhere else, was me.
But my heart, that stupid, pulsing thing in my chest, it wanted to throw my arms around his neck. My hero, saving me from having to swallow my pride and send him a text. Relenting, and agreeing that we did have to talk. Because the fact was, Jason Cox was more than 'alright'. He was infuriating, confounding, funny, broken, really, good in bed, and...incredibly attractive.
Oh—and mine. Not that I was really worried about my mom. Being in the same room with him again, feeling his eyes on me made it clear that I didn't have to worry about any woman, including the woman that was allegedly his fiancé.
Jason only had eyes for me.
I dropped my own eyes to the counter, taking in the rattle that possessed my fingertips. I wanted to blame the nerves on the fact that God only knew what ridiculous things were bound to come out of my mother's mouth. Standing here, with a man who was willing to fight for me, for us, that was what made me tremble.
The last time I let a man close enough to destroy me, he'd struck the match, set our relationship on fire, and left me to deal with the ashes. He didn't even bother to watch it burn, he just put us in the rearview. I was strong enough to not look him up on social media, telling myself that I could pretend it all meant nothing too. The truth was enough to gut me. I didn't look him up because I wouldn't have been able to handle the sight of him living happily ever after. While I was pretending that first dates and no strings attached and tinder hookups suited me just fine, he got to live the life I wanted to lead.
A life that I could still lead.
A better life, because it was clear I had a better man. A man who would risk bodily harm and/or me calling the police if I was serious about that whole 'go to hell' thing. A man who was smart enough to know that despite the roses and texts and emails, what I needed was to see his face.
A man that could ruin me forever if things fell apart...and set my heart free if the love I saw in his eyes was real.
I flexed my fingers and put aside the fairytale dust and turned to the cabinet. To a distraction from the fact that that word, love, should have scared me more than it did.
"Can I get you something to drink?"
The question was directed at Jason, but my mother was suddenly parched. She headed in the kitchen behind me, rummaging through the cabinets, walking right past my bulging eyes and silent message for her to make an exit vs making us a drink.
"You'll have to forgive Natalee Jane, I swear I raised her better than this pig sty you've been dragged into."
"I'm sure he prefers being in the pig sty than out in the hall," I harrumphed, pretending I wasn't suddenly embarrassed by the wreck that was my apartment. I was a hop, skip, and a jump away from getting my own episode of Hoarders. Jason was hovering near the couch, out of ear shot, so I took a moment to turn the silent message I was trying to send to my mother to 'whisper' mode.
"I bet Dad is probably missing you, huh? You guys rarely get any time away together."
Her forehead wrinkled as she drew her eyebrows together in confusion. "Your dad is probably in his boxers and socks in the hotel, glad that he doesn't have to share the remote." She let out a 'aha' when she found a jug of unopened lemonade that I was fairly sure had been around since I moved in a year ago.
I gently took it from her, and made sure I had her full attention. "Maybe you should go back to the hotel."
"But-" The lightbulb flickered on, finally, and her cheeks flushed red as she wheeled toward the living room and let out the most awkward giggle I'd ever heard. "Look at the time! I should probably head out before my hubby drains our bank account with pay per view."
I cringed when my mind immediately went to the adult channels, like anyone would with all the unintended innuendo and awkwardness flowing from my mother.
"Not the pornography, I meant, uh...” My mother, who usually exuded confidence and sensuality when a man was in her general vicinity, was a hot mess. She reversed, walking away from her broken sentence and scooping up her purse. Finally regaining some of her signature charm, she strutted to where Jason stood like she was on a runway at New York Fashion Week. "I look forward to getting to know you better, Jason."
He disappointed her by shaking the hand she extended instead of kissing it, but one of his dimpled smiles made up for it in spades. "It was nice to meet you too, Mrs. Madison."
She held onto his hand for several seconds longer than necessary, until I cleared my throat and she disengaged. "Good manners, good looks, and filthy rich? If I was a younger woman..." She made a low, animalistic growl.
